I thoroughly appreciated reading this opinion piece. So much so that I’ve linked it and am pasting the article here as well.
A goodbye letter for the anti-President
Dear Donald,
When we first met in 2014, I was a year into research for the biography I was writing about you. I knew about your stern father, your exile to military school at a tender age and your tendency to spin dramatic fantasies. I knew that you considered life a battle for survival and humans to be "vicious" by nature.*
In your Trump Tower stronghold, you were attended by aides who looked like soap opera stars and surrounded by ego-boosting emblems: a wall of framed magazine covers, each featuring your face; a boxer's championship belt given to settle a debt; a stack of clippings delivered with a note that read, "Dad, FYI -- All great press. Ivanka." These totems of greatness, which I haven't seen in the quarters of other super-rich Americans, made me think of you as desperately, and perhaps dangerously, insecure.*
In five interviews that lasted about 10 hours total, you would heighten my fear that despite a life spent in unending luxury and privilege, no amount of wealth and power would move you off the life-is-warfare view. Even worse, you told me that you might run for president because Twitter fans said you should (I wasn't surprised by your ambition and, given your celebrity, I thought you might win). Then, as we stood to inspect a framed letter you had received from the disgraced Richard Nixon, you said his only problem was that he had left office for the good of the country. In your view, he should have stayed and fought.
*You ran for president and you won. And as you visited upon the country more pain than Nixon ever did, you fought on. Unrelenting in your aggression, lies and cruelty, you presided over four years of chaos and conflict provoked by your words and deeds. Though impeached, you escaped conviction and stayed in office to redouble your commitment to ego-driven chaos.
As you refused to mount a serious federal response, the Covid-19 death toll surpassed 400,000. Defeated in your bid for reelection, you spun lies that created an alternative reality so powerful that hundreds of your followers formed a mob that carried out a bloody attack on the United States Capitol. Many there intended to overturn the election, which you had repeatedly claimed was invalid due to fraud that in fact had not occurred.*
In the attack, which was televised by news networks and livestreamed on social media, five people -- including one Capitol police officer -- would die. A DC Metro Police officer, who had been Tasered several times, heard one of your followers say, "Kill him with his own gun." Although Congress reconvened after the mob was driven out, you stand disgraced as the only president in US history to be impeached twice, and all I can think is that you had finally made your narcissistic nightmare of a constant battle against vicious enemies come true for us all.
Your dangerous narcissism was not widely noted when I interviewed you, but it seemed, to me, to be the hallmark of your personality. I consulted experts and learned that this grandiosity was likely a defense mechanism against a fear of shame and rejection. I came to believe this fear was installed by your father, who, when you were a child, demanded you be a "killer" and a "king." When you failed to meet his expectations and became a troublemaker, he exiled you to military school, at age 13. Talk about a scarring experience.
The title of my book, "Never Enough," pointed to your endless drive to prove your superiority, which, ironically, led to bankruptcies, divorces and legal defeats. It's likely these failures provoked the same sense of shame and humiliation that you must have felt as a rejected child. You once told me you hated to reflect on the past, but in refusing to do this, you were bound to repeat your mistakes. No matter how much you achieved, it was never enough. And so, you went too far. (For more on this see what your psychologist niece, Mary Trump, wrote in her 2020 book, "Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man.")
As President, your weaknesses posed terrible threats to the country. Your many failures at running businesses such as casinos or the airline Trump Shuttle showed that you were not a nimble thinker capable of leading complex operations. The Covid-19 pandemic has only made this glaring incompetence crystal clear -- and despite your efforts to deflect the blame, the country's death toll speaks for itself. More than 400,000 people have died from Covid-19 in the United States -- more than any other country in the world, according to Johns Hopkins University.
Having seen your inability to recognize others as human beings, I have not been shocked by your indifference to the deaths of your fellow citizens. Nor have I been surprised by your encouragement of violence. Violence was what I always expected from your presidency. I just didn't know what form it would take.
The power of your methods was obvious during your 2016 campaign, when you lied in a way that separated your most ardent followers from reality itself. You promoted many of your old conspiracy theories about 9/11 and climate change and added new ones on the fly. (When an attendee asked -- after first stating as fact that Obama was Muslim and not American -- about the wildly untrue idea that Muslims were running secret training camps in the United States to kill people, you refused to shoot down his claims, promising instead to "look at that."
You also whipped people into a frenzy of hatred by describing opponents, critics and the free press as enemies. I recalled reading how your first wife, Ivana, had said you kept a book of Hitler's speeches near your bed. You once corrected a reporter, telling her it was "Mein Kampf" instead (though Marty Davis, who gave Trump the book, told Vanity Fair it was a book of speeches).
For four years in office, you functioned as a kind of anti-President, inflaming rather than calming passions and attacking rather than negotiating, all while demanding adoration from your Cabinet and constant attention from the media. Having ordered aides to think of each day as an episode in a TV show before you even took office, you tried to gin up as much drama as possible.
As President, you used the authority of your office to spread baseless claims about voter fraud, former President Barack Obama and even of a friendship between former President Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sexual predator who was your Palm Beach neighbor and friend, to name a few. Many of your followers abandoned reason and dove headfirst into the QAnon conspiracy theory movement, which reveres you as a savior and regards the government and much of the news media as evil. Many of those who attacked the Capitol brandished Q symbols along with Trump flags, Jesus banners and the Confederate stars and bars -- a mix of powerful symbols that shows the breadth of your influence.
Before the attack, you were among many who called for a big crowd of protesters to stop the Congress from affirming your election defeat. After your lawyer Rudy Giuliani, your namesake son ginned up the crowd, and they heard you call for them to march on the Capitol.
"You have to show strength," you said, "and you have to be strong." You promised to go with them but chose instead to view the destruction on TV. I wondered if you understood that the violence that unfolded was real, and not something made for television. Did you order Cokes as you watched? Did you eat popcorn?
I can imagine you snacking because you have played with violence, both real and imagined, for so long that you must be inured you to it. It all started back in the 1970s when you began employing armed guards-chauffeurs, for no apparent reason. I think it was because you enjoyed the sense of menace they added to your presence.
During your 2016 campaign one of your security guards roughed-up a picketer outside Trump Tower in New York, while another physically forced reporter Jorge Ramos out of a news conference in 2015. At one rally you told followers, "If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them." When a loud protester disrupted one of your other campaign rallies, you said, "I'd like to punch him in the face."
Your tough guy image was embraced by followers who traded memes in which you were drawn to look like a superhero or shown brandishing weapons Rambo-style. Your avatar punched out a figure labeled with the CNN logo. Add this to the bigotry you expressed in words and images, which you shared with millions of people on Twitter, and a combustible mix was created. (Remember posting an image of Hillary Clinton, along with a Star of David set against dollar bills, brandishing her the "most corrupt candidate ever?").
The atmosphere of bigotry you helped create exploded in Charlottesville in 2017 as men chanted "Jews will not replace us" before a White supremacist murdered a counterprotester by running her down with his car.
Heather Heyer was one of the first civilians to die in this charged political context during your presidency. It did not change your behavior. Instead, you declared there were "very fine people on both sides." By delaying your condemnation of her attackers and resisting efforts to remove monuments to those who fought against the United States to preserve slavery, you sent clear signals about your views on race and violence.
With Charlottesville, questions about your bigotry grew louder. You made your stance clear when you reportedly said Haitian immigrants "all have AIDS" (though the White House denied it), and that people were entering the US from "shithole" countries. Add your vicious comments about Black athletes calling out police brutality, your penchant for slamming individual Black women, and your fearmongering about low-income housing, and everyone understood your perspective. Three years into your presidency, 65% of Black Americans said it's "a bad time to be a Black person" in the United States, according to a Washington Post/Ipsos poll.
It would have been bad enough if your bigotry had been confined to words, but you enshrined it in policy by restricting refugees from entering this country. This led to a sharp decline, from about 85,000 refugees admitted to the United States in 2016 to about 12,000 in 2020. If the "huddled masses yearning to breathe free" didn't get the message, then they could consider the way you cozied up to strongmen, the likes of which many of them were fleeing. From Kim Jong Un of North Korea to Russian President Vladimir Putin, you showed a consistent admiration for dictators who jail and kill their critics.
Along our border with Mexico, you began separating children from parents who arrived seeking asylum. By May 2019, six children had died in federal custody. In June of that year, Americans were shocked by the photo of a father and child who had drowned attempting to cross the Rio Grande. In December, a surveillance video obtained by ProPublica showed a 16-year-old Guatemalan boy was left alone in his Border Patrol cell in Texas for hours before he died on the floor, of complications from the flu.
How many minors died in Border Patrol custody during the four years prior to your administration? Zero, per FactCheck.org.
The deaths were just one measure of the suffering your harsh policies inflicted on asylum-seeking families. New data from June 2019 reveals there were around 5,500 known cases of children, from infants to teens, being separated from their parents and placed in facilities ranging from foster family homes to cells made out of chain link fencing.
Amid all this pain, it seemed you still weren't satisfied. You asked about building anti-immigrant moats to be stocked with alligators. You wondered whether soldiers could shoot immigrants who threw rocks. Those ideas were nixed, but the crisis continues. Because of inept recording-keeping, your administration has not been able locate the parents of at least 545 children, according to court documents from last October.
Refugee families, stuck in limbo while waiting for asylum in the United States, are still filling squalid camps on the Mexican side of the border, many of them fearing for their lives -- particularly in the midst of a global pandemic.
You got away with cruelty in part because you conditioned many Americans to believe that brown-skinned, undocumented immigrants constituted a criminal horde that required a draconian response.
You promised to build a "beautiful" concrete border wall along 1,000 miles of the frontier and force Mexico to pay for it.
Only about 452 miles of tall steel fence has been completed as of January 5, 2021, according to a Customs and Border Patrol Report, and instead of the $8 billion you estimated for 1,000 miles, $18 billion dollars have already been devoted to the work because -- surprise! -- Mexico is not paying for it.
Hyping the wall was just one example of the exaggerations, false claims and lies that came out of your mouth in such a torrent it was nearly impossible for anyone to react properly. You combined this strategy with denigrating the media as "enemies of the people" and purveyors of "fake news" with such consistency that facts seemed to lose their power. You added an Orwellian flourish when you said, "What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening."
What has been the effect on journalists? Threats became a part of our daily lives and the lives of our family members. (One of your followers found my wife's business phone number and called to say that he had located our address and to suggest we be careful.) A "press freedom tracker" run by the Committee to Protect Journalists and the Freedom of the Press Foundation has counted 421 attacks on journalists during your time in office.
Far worse than the impact on journalists is your effect on Americans' ability to agree upon an established set of facts as they consider critical issues. You are not solely to blame for this problem. However, you have both contributed to it and exploited it. You have made more than 30,000 false or misleading claims, according to The Washington Post, which have landed with the authority that comes with the presidential seal.
The easy way out for someone mired in disinformation is to pick a person to believe and go all in. Many of those who doubled down on their support for you found a sense of belonging amid the slogans, regalia and fervent rallies. They felt they were right. Those who disagreed were not fellow citizens but enemies who, some concluded, should be defeated by violent means.
The loyalty of your followers meant that ordinary politicians feared provoking the ire of your base. When it came to light that you were trying to coerce Ukraine's President into helping your reelection effort, you were impeached for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. But this fear helped keep the Republican-controlled Senate in line, and you were acquitted. Afterward, Sen. Susan Collins of Maine defended her vote to acquit you, saying you had learned "a big lesson." What you learned, it seemed, was that you could get away with anything. Even before you were elected, you claimed you could "stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody," and not lose voters.
Shortly after the impeachment trial wrapped up, you proceeded to mislead the American people about the novel coronavirus. You downplayed the dangers of the virus so that the vibrant economy, the main bragging point of your presidency, would continue to hum. In late February, at a White House coronavirus task force briefing, you said "It's a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for." But you told journalist Bob Woodward weeks before that the coronavirus was "more deadly than your -- you know, your, even your strenuous flus." Nevertheless, you declined to organize a true national response and undermined public health officials who urged everyone to wear face masks.
You also held mass rallies where people were infected. On May 8, when the death toll was more than 77,000, you continued this charade, insisting, "This is going to go away without a vaccine." To say that people died as a result of your posture is not mere speculation. Families have told stories of those who followed your lead, got sick and died. Harvard epidemiologists estimate that thousands have died as a result of your example.
Today the Covid-19 pandemic continues to ravage the country. The death toll is now roughly equivalent to a 9/11 each day -- but many of your acolytes, even in Congress, still refuse to protect themselves and others with facemasks. Meanwhile, millions are turning to food banks. Mass evictions loom.
When I consider the hungry, the infected, the traumatized and the deceased and hold in my mind the images of the deadly mob at the Capitol, I hear your voice summoning the worst in my fellow citizens. With those words you truly established yourself as the anti-President, a distinction that cancels any claim you might make to the respect normally accorded the office.
When we met you told me to call you "Don," as if we were friends. You also invited me to examine your hair. I didn't do either because I sensed that you wanted to establish a bond that you would eventually try to corrupt. This was confirmed when you hinted that my book could make me rich if I abandoned my professional duty and wrote it to your liking.
Thankfully, enough Americans recognized your immorality and incompetence and lack of human feeling so profound that the suffering and death so much a part of your presidency didn't appear to affect you at all. They chose Joe Biden in November, making you truly accountable for perhaps the first time in your life.
After four years of your chaos, what's left is a wounded country grieving for its dead and for its innocence. But we will recover, and you now face criminal and legal threats in state courts, along with the harsh judgment of history.
As you desperately summon the remains of your following for comfort and fundraising, your disgrace is growing with the mounting evidence that your words motivated the mob that attacked the United States Capitol. This incitement may be the single worst thing a president has ever done, and it will define you for centuries to come.

“...and walk away with a trip to beautiful Las Vegas Nevada! Enjoy a complimentary 5 day 4 night stay at any MGM casino resort all on us! No nonsense, no gimmicks. Just a bit of your precious time! Call today!”
Yes. A vacation extravaganza all on the arm. Courtesy of the Hibou Timeshare Corporation. All it cost was your time and cooperation for a timeshare presentation. Simple enough yes? I wish I would have realized how much better a couple of overtimes would have served me, than taking myself to that horrid building.
I was living in Phoenix AZ with my parents. Still half way bullshitting my final semester at college. I’ve got to be honest, I was checked out. It was summer..I was going to graduate and I had these final two classes in the bag. I could have failed my finals and still walked out with a C. Yes but that kind of luxury came at a price. My social life was the casualty in all of this. While I did have a tight knit of pals, my attendance to social gatherings were...well..less than punctual. I was usually doing work for one of my advanced classes. If not that, then I was pulling a shift at either of my jobs. Yeah..you could say I gave up the glamour of late night pizzas, puking in my friends car and hooking up with a random ASU frat sluts for a heavier wallet...except I was paying everything out of my own pocket. My gas, insurance, cell, college. I wasn't exactly hiding cash in the walls. My parents worked hard but..never did make a living to give me and my siblings an extravagant lifestyle. We were grateful though.
So when I heard that AD of how I could get a long needed vacation to party central Las Vegas, all for watching some BS timeshare I knew I wasn’t going to buy into, you bet your ass off I made that call. The phone only rang once before I got an answer,
“Thank you for calling the Hibou Timeshare Corporation, how can we help you?” a voice rang through the phone. The voice sounded shrill and sickly.
“Hi, I'm calling about the vacation in Vegas? Says that you need people for a presen..”
“Yeessss.” the voice interrupted “The timeshare presentation, well...we would be so honored to have you”
“Uhh..yeah...anyway I’d like to sign up? Is there a form online or do you take the information here?” I said..now feeling a bit tense.
“Well I'll tell you what...pack your things for the vacation. When we are finished presenting..we can send you on our way to Vegas. We just need..a bit of your time.”
That was that. He gave me the address, date and time of the meeting. The area was in a place called Amargosa Valley in Nevada. Luckily it was just about an hour away from Vegas. Before we parted ways on the phone, the operator said something...he said something that should have been a MAJOR red flag.
“Okay then, you’re all set...we will see you July 28th at 4:30pm. Not a moment later” he laughed
“Oh..and..one more thing, if you have some more specimens like yourself that might be interested in the free vacation...bring them along. They’ll all receive the same prize and you will receive $100 cash for every person you bring. We look forward to presenting you, Austin. Good day.”
I never gave him my name.
Still, my young dumb brain didn’t hear anything past $100 dollars. So I rounded up a few of my best pals and we were set to meet the reps over at the timeshare. The days leading up to the trip I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was so exciting. My first real vacation in...i couldn't remember how long. I longed for this type of adventure with my friends. We packed a truck full and set off to Amargosa Valley.
I brought Luke, Larry and Adam. We’d been friends since the 3rd grade. We all moved to AZ from different parts of the country that summer, so being new kids we naturally ganged up together. Luke was from Texas..we called him Tex. Real big guy. Loved to work out but definitely was a bit of a boozebag. Larry was from Ohio. Quiet in public but probably the loudest of us all. Always had some political conspiracy to talk about. Then Adam..Adam was interesting. He was from Florida...or Georgia...or Nebraska. Adam never could keep it straight about where he was from. He always had some sort of story and backtrack about where he’d come from. I personally thought he was probably from another part of AZ and just wanted to fit in...so we humor him and let him be the nomad of our group. I myself was originally from California...things got pricey so we made the move to blistering AZ.
That was my crew. No matter how long it had been, we were always as tight as ever. The ride was filled with laughing and gags. Stops at fast food joints and all around bullshitting. Yes it was an amazing time just driving there, we couldn't wait to get on with the meeting and head down to Boozeville USA. As we approached our destination...something felt off. Amargosa Valley had been a bit of a ghost town the whole drive. A gas station here. A small outlet there...but otherwise unpopulated. When we hit our destination we were met by a Chrome building. Smack center in the middle of the highway. As we parked at the only stall..we all took a look at each other.
“Well this is...odd.” Luke said plainly.
“Yeah man...are we really going there?” Adam shook out. Barely containing his fear.
“Look guys, I know it looks weird. This place is really clean and bright in the middle of a dusty desert but c’mon. It's like what...an hour of our time? Within 2 hours we’ll be on our way to the dopest guys trip ever.” I said...selfishly.
The guys all agreed. We got out, locked the car up and walked in through the sliding glass doors. The cool air hit us like a wave. Each of us breathing in the refreshingly cold air. The inside of this lobby..was also immaculate. Chrome everywhere. Right down to the sofas and chairs. A woman came from around the front desk.
“You must be here to be presented. I see you brought more specimens! What a joy! Will you gentlemen please follow me?” She said.
Specimens. Ugh. Her tone. That word still makes me shutter.
Me and the boys looked at each other..all with the same should we do it look on our faces. Maybe it was the cold air enticing our sweaty brows. We’d been a poorly AC’D truck for a couple hours. Or maybe it was the ice cold drinks she presented in front of us. Whatever the case we followed her through a door behind the front desk and were met with a grand auditorium. It looked as if it could hold maybe 50 people. And all they had was me and my knucklehead friends. As we sat down, sucking down sodas and waters, a mans voice came over the intercom.
“Welcome my friends to the Hibou Timeshare Corporation presentation. Today you will be examining the lifetime of these vessels. Determine whether or not you think they are a smart investment and make a choice if you would like to partake!” I recognized the voice. It was the same shrill tone that I set up the appointment with.
“Now my dear friends, it's time to sit back with your favorite drink...and listen..”
With that, a large projector screen came down from the celine. An old timey countdown began winding down.
BEEP3...BEEP2...BEEP1
From what I can remember, I heard the screams of something...unnatural. A scream so high tone that I felt as if my ears would burst with blood. I tried clasping my hands over my ears but to no avail. The screams were too overpowering. As soon as it started, I passed out.
I awoke looking at the lights on the celine. Unable to sit up. I could tell I was bareass naked on a metal table. I moved my head, the little that i could to see Adam next to me on another table. Naked as the day we were born. He was encased in what looked like a light purple energy field. Looking more in depth, I too had this field in front of me. Before I could speak the tables raised up. Bringing me upright. Bringing me face to face with Tex. To the left of me..Larry. “My friends, I present to you: Terramite 99-0 specimens.” a voice rang out. The same voice from the auditorium.
“They are..of the male species. Strong. Cunning and above all loyal...if raised properly.”
“HEY, you bastards. WTF is this! LET US GO!” Tex cried out. Before he could continue, the energy field tightened around him. Tex let out a scream that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The smell of burned flesh and hair filled the area. I would have puked had the horror of seeing my best friend being burned alive wasn't keeping my attention away from the smell. When the field lifted, Tex was stripped down to the muscle fibers. Hair burned down to the scalp. Tex convulsed until he finally relaxed into a hanging position on the table.
“Now see..specimen is now sedated. Reduced to a weaker position. With the energy field keeping him contained and the Auto-Reversal Time Warp engaging, we can have this specimen back into working shape immediately.”
There was an electrical hum in the air. As before my eyes, Tex’s skin began to heal. His hair growing back. And all burns subsiding. It was as if nothing had happened to him. He still hung in limbo, but we could see the breath return to his chest.The rest of us let out bits of gasps of horror and astonishment.
I could see Adam crying a bit in the corner of my eyes.
A figure appeared from behind me. A tentacle graced my shoulder, not even phased by the force field. I caught sight of the creature. It stood around 7foot tall. Skin that looked human but a head that was elongated. No nose. And eyes that were black as coal. It had two tentacles for hands. I could not see its feet, as it was covered by a long gown.
Larry screamed in anger. “Your...your...a...a…” he managed to get out before the creature silenced him.
“Shhhh….I am...a salesman is all. Now my friends I will demonstrate the life cycle of the Terramite 99-0’s.”
With that, Larry's forcefield began to hum. Right before my eyes Larry began to get...smaller. Not in stature necessarily, no, but in age. He went from being a young man..to a teenager..to that kid i met in 3rd grade..to an infant. His cries were extremely loud. Unaware of the horrors around him. At that moment I could hear Adam's field begin to hum.
“Please no! Please!” Adam begged.
“If you will direct your attention to our third pod:”
Adam then began to scream as he went from a young man..to middle aged man...to retirement age and finally...to a decrepit old man. Hair as white as snow. Wrinkled beyond recognition. Each breath looking to nearly be his last.
“From birth to the declining ages of 70 and beyond the Auto-Reversal Time Warp pods are the perfect tool to use when training your armys, your children, your slaves. Imagine...never having to replace workers. Never worrying if your training methods or punishments might go too far. Never losing a prisoner to death. And though the Terramites look to be difficult to control, I can guarantee their cooperation once put through the proper training.” The creature said. Full of glee in his dead eyes.
Between the crying of baby larry and incoherent babbling of old man adam, the room felt like it was spinning. Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger, the rest of the lights came to life. The room we were in were surrounded by seats, similar to the ones we sat in. However, sitting in these seats were ghastly creatures of different varieties. Some looked like the salesman creature. Others were ogreish. Large bodied creatures covered in a film of slime. Some of them even looked human. It was the eyes though...their eyes were a teal color with white pupils. Many many creatures looked up me and my friends. All of them began clapping their hands and cheering in unison. The claps were deafening. The cries of the baby felt as if a baseball bat was ramming my head. Adams babbling was terrifyingly disturbing. And Tex...hanging there. Eyes rolled back into his skull. I couldnt imagine the hell he began to feel. At this point I wondered what awaited my fate. The clapping stopped abruptly.
“Oh...Austin...yes, well if you want to know what fate awaits you just shut your eyes. Shut your eyes and quietly count back from 3.” the creature said...was he reading my mind?
Suddenly the urge to close my eyes overtook me. Almost as if I had no choice, I began counting down. 3….2….1….
Everything went black. I wasn't sure if i was alive or dead...or somewhere in between. I saw nothing but black for what felt like a lifetime. And in an instant...I heard that same shrill scream. Only this time I could not cover my ears. I couldn’t feel my body but I felt an unimaginable amount of pain. As the scream grew to its peak, I slammed my eyes open. Trying to catch my breath.
I was back in the car...we were all back in the car. The engine was on. Shitty ac blasting. The others were still out. I sat up in my seat. Not wanting to move too suddenly. The sun was beating down on us. I looked over at the time on the dash…July 28th 4:34 pm. I reached into my shirt pocket and I found several vouchers for the MGM hotels in Vegas along with $300 dollars. I also found a card that simply read “Hibou Timeshare Corp. would like to thank you for a bit of your time”
The boys came too. All feeling rather groggy.
“We all fell asleep huh?” Adam laughed. “We here?”
They didn't remember a thing. Not one thing. Not going in...not the reception area...not the freaky timeshare presentation...not one bit. I lied...i told them that while they were sound asleep, we arrived a little earlier than expected. The presenter had an emergency and left our vouchers at the front desk and apologized profusely.
“Wow, what a gentleman!” Tex laughed. “We definitely owe it to him to sit through another timeshare, probono.” Larry added.
I think it's safe to say that I will not be returning to this or any other timeshare. As I drove away I could see the building disappear in the rear view mirror.
So if you’re traveling deep within the southwest of the United States and hear an ad for a free vacation that's too good to be true...do yourself a favor..turn off the radio, call into work and ask for some overtime..because nothing is ever given for free.

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Sozafi Zae had the wind knocked out of them as they slammed into the ceiling, and then they braced for a fall that never came. Being violently thrown into the air had been jarring enough, but there’s no way they could be so rattled they’d miss the return trip, could they? They tentatively opened one eye.
The floor loomed over--under?--them. At least the carpet in this penthouse was really soft. Maybe they’d only break one or two ribs, tops. Probably an arm.
“You picked the wrong apartment to rob, kid,” the old togruta woman said with a yawn.
In all the excitement of somehow finding themself pressed to the ceiling, Sozafi had almost forgotten about the person who put her there…
Onoam was beautiful, especially at night, when Naboo could be seen hanging in the sky. Or, Sozafi supposed, Onoam was hanging in Naboo’s sky. There was too much light pollution out there to really see many of the stars tonight, with all of the night culture still going strong, but some nights, when things were calm, Sozafi could still tell they were there. They could draw in the deep air of the sea and feel the galaxy swirling, the hundreds of beings in the city all milling about in gambling dens and restaurants and theaters. This wasn’t really one of those nights. Naboo was nothing but a large teal marble peeking out from behind the heavy grey-black clouds.
Rain had begun to fall, a light drizzle that made it all the more dangerous to be clinging to the side of a building. Moments earlier, the twenty something scrumrat had miraculously made it to the third floor, scaling the side of the building in a few bounds. It was a talent she had. If they concentrated, and got a running start, they could feel the world at just a slightly different angle. It was liberating to move through a space like that, feeling the ground retreat.
That was how Sozafi made a living as a second-story-neutrois. They were charismatic, and could be charming enough to steal from the tourists, but getting right into the apartments of the wealthy was always a lot more lucrative. Most people wouldn’t bother locking their balcony windows. After all, how would anyone get up there?
That wasn’t the case this time. The mark had actually taken precautions. That was just fine. They pulled out a set of security tools and knelt down at the lock, getting to work. With a little bit of concentration, Sozafi could feel the pins working into the right place, and with a gentle turn, the door opened with an unnoticeable click.
With that out of the way, they slunk into the room, carefully on the lookout for any signs of security. The mark was some kind of criminal, which meant that she wasn’t likely to have anything that would call official security, and the woman didn’t seem to have any backing. When it came to the distinction between legitimacy and criminality, the distinction was often arbitrary, but it was a safe bet that someone with this much money could stand to part with it.
Once the coast was clear enough, Sozafi started looking around for anything important. Credits, obviously, but anything that could fit in their pack and fetch a good price would be worthwhile. They had good instincts for hiding places, and this mark was definitely the kind to use plenty. Several, like the toilet tank or underside of the table, held holdout weapons like a thin barreled concealable blaster or a vibro-knife. They could stay where they were. There were also plenty of credits already tucked into a bug-out bag hidden in a false bottom of a clothes hamper. Sozafi had no need for the handful of fake scandocs for the togruta, so they left those where they were, but the credits would be very useful.
It was an hour into Sozafi’s gentle ransacking that their instincts seemed to lead them astray. Inside another false panel, they found nothing but a strange metal tube. The air of the penthouse seemed to grow cold as the neutrois touched the tube, and pulled it out to better look at it in the light reflecting off of Naboo.
“No way…” they murmured, suddenly afraid of the thing in their hands, like one wrong move would release a swarm of ravenous blister fleas down their arm. Sozafi knew it had only been twenty years or something, but this was practically a relic. And contraband. Suddenly all the scandocs, the bugout bag, it all made sense. But still, something inside of the felt… excitement. They could sense the aura of the device. It practically thrummed in their hand. Sozafi held it out, knowing the danger, and reached their other hand out to fiddle with the controls…
That was when Sozafi found themself Forcibly lifted into the air and pressed against the ceiling. They hadn’t even heard the woman come in, they were so enraptured by the artifact from a more civilized age. The togruta didn’t even look at it, leaving it where it was on the floor.
“Who are you?” She asked, looking up at Sozafi.
“How…”
The togruta rolled her eyes, and dismissively waved her hand with a sigh. Sozafi fell to the floor, shaky but on their feet. They were thankful for the thick carpeting, but they could tell that some Force had lessened the fall.
“Who are you,” the woman said again, this time more pointedly.
“I’m no one,” Zae coughed out. They cut a glance to the window. The orange-skinned woman was near the door, but if Sozafi could get to the balcony… Her eyes darted back to the erstwhile mark. “You’re a J--”
Before they’d even started to say the word, the togruta spit out “No, I’m not.”
There was a tension in the air. Seemed as good a moment as any to make a break for it.
Unfortunately the scrumrat didn’t get very far. There were no magic tricks this time, but the togruta was fast, and before taking a step further, she was blocking Sozafi, who actually surprised her by throwing a punch. They didn’t connect of course. The togruta on the other hand did, but Sozafi was no stranger to a punch, and rolled with it. It was followed up by a kick that the older woman didn’t seem like she should have been able to make, and Sofazi had to throw up both her arms to catch it with a block. They weren’t going to stay on the defensive, and lashed out with a blow. It didn’t matter what they did, though, her fists always came up short.
A sense of fear started to fill her. This was a legendary warrior. She wasn’t even breaking a sweat. She was toying with them. Sozafi tried to run again, but was jerked back, choked by the collar of their shirt, which ripped as the togruta pulled it. They were spun around, swinging their arm as they did, but once again they hit nothing but air, the woman ducking below the swing, only to throw a series of short, quick jabs to Sozafi’s ribs and breast, knocking the wind out of them.
Breathless, Zae saw the old woman stand up tall and lift her thigh up to her heavy chest and kick out like she was going to stomp flat a can of caff. Sozafi threw up their arms to block, but was still sent tumbling back and sprawling over a chair meant more for decoration than comfort. The chair came with them, and by the time they got right side up, the togruta was back in front of them.
In a flash of anger, Sozafi remembered the vibro-blade stuck to the bottom of the table, and without even thinking it was in their hand, shooting across the apartment, eliciting a startled gasp from the togruta. They bounded forward, lunging in anger, wanting revenge for all the bruises and pain she’d caused in just the last ninety seconds.
And then a sound like metal shearing erupted, and a thin shaft of brilliant green light aimed itself at Sozafi’s throat, her rage disbursed by the soft hum of the lightsaber blade.
“Force…” the scrumrat murmured with the tone of a swear, the vibro-blade slipping from their hand, forgotten. “You really are a Jedi…”
As if their words were an ion charge, the blade disappeared, and the reverent moment went with it.
“No.” The togruta said through clenched teeth. She took a centering breath, closing her eyes, her brow furrowed. Quieter, she finally added “Not for years now. There are no more Jedi.”
“Tell me everything.”
“There isn’t much to tell,” Azasham said, knowing this kid wouldn’t hear how weighed down with weariness her words were as she sipped the caf.
The two had stopped fighting. There wasn’t much point after that. Azasham had tossed her lightsaber aside, and with the same flick of her wrist, both it and the vibro-knife, now deactivated as well, had landed into the chair, which had also righted itself. If she was being honest with herself, Azasham was showing off a little. She hadn’t obviously used the Force like this in… over a decade, at least. And here was this Force Sensitive who had somehow avoided the notice of the empire. Was it because they were here on Onoam? It wasn’t like Palpatine’s home system was free of the bastard’s grip.
Beneath the tranquil streets and bustling tourist attractions, miners still toiled for the Empire, and while fully armored stormtroopers were unwelcomed by the galaxy’s elite with their vacation condos and chalets, crisply uniformed Imperial officers helped comfort the wealthy after the terrorist assassination of Moff Panaka three years earlier and had never left. Funny how the rich and powerful could be comforted if you just put the agents of imperial violence in a nicer uniform.
Had this guttersnipe managed to stay under the radar for two decades simply because the terrifying black armour and blood-bladed sabers of the Inquisitorius would be too frightening a sight for the members of the ruling class who came to Naboo’s peaceful moon with the luxury of forgetting about partisans and terrorists and unruly systems not yet brought to heel?
Or, maybe, a little ember Ashazam wished would burn out already whispered, maybe it was the will of the Force.
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
“Am I Jedi?”
Azasham let out a noise that the human neutrois considered rather rude, judging by their facial expression. “No, kid, there’s more to being a jedi than moving things with your mind.”
“Teach me, then.”
“No.”
“You want to,” Sozafi said, more as a statement than a question.
Azasham sipped her caf, not a single muscle moving that didn’t have to.
“I knew it,” the scrumrat said, eyes lighting up.
“I could just kill you,” she offered, only barely hiding her smile.
For a second she thought she might have been a little too stoic as the colour drained from the neutrois’ face. But it was only temporary. They weren’t convinced.
“You could have killed me from the start, but you knew I was a Jedi,” they said, wheels visibly spinning.
Another snort, another glare from the kid. “You’re not a Jedi.”
“Yes I am! You saw it. I pulled that knife to me, and I can sense things.” Sozafi’s wheels spun faster as things fell into place. “And I can run up walls! I just thought I was good at parkour… I can do all that because I’m a Jedi.”
The knife flew from across the room, causing Sozafi to jump as it whizzed by their head. Azasham put it down on the other side of the table from Sozafi.
“Do it again, then, Jedi.”
The knife stayed where it was, no matter how much Sozafi glared at it. They even stretched out a hand, fingers forming a claw, wrist slowly turning. There was grunting. Then, their shoulders slumped in defeat.
"That's what I thought," Azasham murmured.
Something about how she said it must have set Sozafi off. They gave out another growl of frustration and screwed up their face. It happened quickly, a little wiggle at first.
Acting before the vibro-blade even moved, Azasham's hand shot out to catch it. The sharp durasteel blade, luckily unactivated, dug into her palm, and her blood dripped into her mug of caf. For the first time tonight her heart rate had spiked.
Sozafi had once again lost all their anger, looking at the tip of the blade with wide eyes. It had completely ignored their outstretched hand, assuming right for their face. Without Azasham's lightning reflexes, they'd have been dead. The blade was only inches away from splitting their head like a melon.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck", they said jumping up so quick that another chair fell over. Sozafi panicked, looking around the room for something to fix this.
"Stop."
Sozafi did, though the panic didn't go away.
"Towel, by the sink."
They blinked for a moment, then rushed to grab it, holding it out as Azasham slowly opened her hand and let the knife fall. It was a mess, but the cut was clean. All that mattered now was staunching the bleeding, but she winced a little more than necessary, playing up how much it hurt. It would do the kid good to be scared.
"Now go get my medkit," she said, lekku shifting as she jerked her head to the bedroom. "It's in the bag from my hamper."
Once again, the neutrois did as they were told, quicker this time. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad an idea after all.
A few minutes later, as she was gingerly coating her hand in a bacta strip, Sozafi finally spoke up.
"So I guess I am a Jedi, then?" They asked, voice cracking a little.
Azasham couldn't help but laugh. "No."
"Oh come on, seriously?"
"You're untrained, and dangerous. You're sensitive to the Force, but that doesn't make you a Jedi." After a pregnant pause, the corner of her lip curled upward and she added "yet."
Sozafi vibrated like the activated knife, their face splitting in an excited grin.
"You'll need to focus. I could just be training you how to get yourself killed spectacularly. Or I could be creating a monster.”
Sozafi laughed nervously, “A monster? Isn’t that a bit dramatic?”
Azasham’s durasteel glare made the scrumrat swallow, but their throat caught.
“You’re untrained, and that makes you dangerous. Which is why I need to train you. But in doing so, I’ll be making you more powerful.” Sozafi’s eyes brightened in a troubling way, though Azasham couldn’t fault them for the feeling. They did have the sense to feel conflicted about that excitement when Azasham gave a sigh. “The Dark Side is strong in you. I can feel it, particularly when you want something. You’ve killed before, haven’t you? Have you ever called upon the Dark Side to do so?”
Azasham wasn’t sure she even wanted to know the answer. Would she have to murder this youngling after all? Would it be easier to spare them being found and turned by the Inquisitorius, or worse, tempted by the Dark Side into abusive relationships, unfocused and untrained as little more than an animal with no restraint?
Sozafi was fidgeting, thinking before they spoke, which was at least a good sign.
“I… I don’t really know. I’ve called upon the Dark Side, I just don’t think I knew it, and always in fights. And I…” They bit their lower lip, chewing it in thought, “I have killed someone. In self-defense. But only twice. Well, once, I’m pretty sure the other guy survived, just never messed with me again. I don’t use it to cheat or steal or anything”
Azasham thought about it for a long moment. What kind of damage had living on the street done? Would the hardships have created a monster? She didn’t want to think that they had, but then again this kid was already growing on her. The eagerness, the excitement. This wasn’t something she had seen from someone in a long time, and certainly not in a Jedi adept.
“You were stealing from me,” She pointed out after considering it.
Sozafi blushed. “Well, I was going to. But you’re not from Onoam. No one who isn’t from around here other than the miners has good intentions. I thought you were just some rich person, and it doesn’t count if you steal from the rich. They all stole it from the poor.” They narrowed their eyes, and looked around, “wait, how did you get the money for a place like this anyway?”
Azasham’s lip curled to show the tips of her pointed teeth. “I stole it from rich people.”
Two days later, Sozafi sat cross legged in a field of blue-green grass across from Azasham, who still seemed to be lost in contemplation.
They’d come to these empty fields for Sozafi’s first lessons. Azasham had asked them to wait two long days, and now was still waiting. At least it was a nice day.
They’d still tried to experiment on their own, just a bit, trying not to get angry as they made a rock rise up from the floor of their poorly kept little one room hovel apartment in the poorer end of the local district. It was frustrating, but knowing that you really can do it tends to make things easier. They hadn’t even bothered to go out running any scams or stealing from anyone, since Azasham had given them enough credits to live off of. An act that mad Sozafi’s eyes go wide, but they never said no to credits.
By the end of those two days, Sozafi was slowly pulling their few bits of furniture round the room telekinetically. Azasham hadn’t seemed impress when they told her, demonstrating by levitating a credit stick. Azasham pulled the stick out of the air and wagged a finger at them, looking around the crowded street outside her much nicer apartment as they walked to the alley where her landspeeder was parked.
“You have to be more careful about where you use your… talents,” she admonished, one orange finger pointing at Sozafi.
The ride had gone by in silence, at least when Sozafi got the hint. And now they were sitting here in the grass, where the city was just a line of colour on the horizon.
Waiting for Azasham to finally make up her mind about what to do, Sozafi once again stretched out with their senses. This, too, they had come to realize, was a part of the Force. They’d never been so far away from the hustle and bustle of Onoam’s crowds. Even at night, the city was thrumming with beings experiencing the city’s nightlife. Here, it was… different. The sun warmed everything, and there was still so much life. Sozafi had never really thought about it, but the grass was alive. There was life in the grass--insects and small lizards and rodents, even nesting birds--but the grass itself was also alive, a hundred pinpricks of light all woven together.
Suddenly another presence eased itself into being. Not necessarily bigger, but deeper somehow. A being that was both aware and aware of her. Tentatively, Sozafi reached out her senses, just barely brushing the edges with her consciousness
“That tickles,” Azasham said, in a rather deadpan voice.
Sozafi opened their eyes and nearly fell over. “That was you?!”
The togruta smiled a toothy smirk, but didn’t open her eyes.
“That was you,” Sozafi said again, righting themself on the blanket. “You’re immense.”
Azasham snorted, and opened one eye, “I haven’t had time to watch my figure,” she said with another grin
Sozafi blushed, “Not like that, I mean…” They motioned incoherently with their hands. “I felt you. In there. In the Force, I guess.”
“In there is everywhere,” she said, finally opening her eyes and relaxing a bit. “You’ve got an awareness of your surroundings. That’s good. That's our first lesson. Are you familiar with midi-chlorians?"
“Aren’t those the folks famous for being bounty hunters?” Sozafi asked.
Azasham paused for the briefest moment in confusion and then continued.
“Midi-Chlorians are symbiotic beings found in all life. They are a part of us, and in turn we are a part of them. They connect us all, and connect to each other. This is the Force. You have the ability to communicate with the midi-chlorians.”
Sozafi had begun to stare at their hand, as if they’d see microscopic bugs crawling on it, giving them super powers. They knew that wasn’t quite how it worked, though. Probably.
“When you move things, you are working through them. When your actions are in balance, you ask them to move the object.” Azasham demonstrated this by levitating the stones around her. It was nothing compared to the outbursts she made the other night, but the control was astounding compared to the wobbling rise that Sozafi had managed. “But you are powerful, and you are not always in balance. Your emotions get the better of you, and that makes you dangerous.”
Sozafi sat quietly, their thoughts swirling. This was a lot to take in. They’d have to take this more seriously than simply throwing rocks around, but that was a lot of responsibility.
“When I’ve found balance, what am I supposed to do with this power?” they wondered, tracking one of the rocks as it made a circuit around Azasham, locking eyes with her for a moment as it passed her face, and then nervously snapping back to the rock’s path. “I mean, the Jedi kept peace, right? But I’m just a burglar.”
Azasham closed her eyes and thought about the question. It wasn’t one she even knew the answer to. What had she been doing with her power? Was she keeping the peace here on Onaom? No. She wasn’t. She was just being a burglar herself, albeit far more skilled than Sozafi would ever be without training. For over a decade now, she had barely been doing more than surviving.
The night came back to her. The night when Hex, Copper, Ransom, and the others had died. The night when the orders they had been born to follow finally came. The blaster fire. The sounds they made as her blades whirred through their plasteel armour. The limbs hitting the ground. She wasn’t sure if it actually was raining on Raxus that night, but she always remembered it that way.
But no, she hadn’t even been a peace keeper back then, had she? A lightsaber might arguably keep the peace, but an army of clones? Just how much of the war had Palpatine engineered so that the Jedi and their armies would conquer the galaxy for him? There was no peace to be had there, and certainly no peacekeeping involved in ripping off casinos.
So what was the point, then? What reason did Azasham have for teaching this youngling, well past their prime?
She looked at Sozafi, so full of determination, and of anger. It was all too familiar.
Azasham killed another Stormtrooper, sliding past him and slicing him in half. These weren’t the men she had fought with during the Clone Wars. They were sloppy. Even just seeing them wearing those uniforms, making a mockery of the men she served with, irritated her at this point.
“Just die already!’ she shouted in challenge.
She came up from her slide with a flourish and knocked a blaster bolt back where it came, causing a trooper’s head to snap backwards as his bucket helmet was caved in. There was only one left, his knees shaking. Azasham stalked forward through the flames of the building, lazily batting blaster fire away, her shoulders slumped. She was barring her sharp teeth, and could practically see herself from his eyes. With her montrals and lekku, and bloody, mess stained clothes she looked like some kind of a monster from his planet’s legends, a fanged demon
He had been an idealist at firsts, believing that Palpatine and the Empire wanted to bring peace. But by now he knew better, now he had done horrible things in the name of peace, and with the stalking togruta Jedi survivor coming closer, he couldn’t deny it anymore. She looked like something from Hell come to take penance for his sins.
He dropped his blaster and ran. His panicked fleeing was cut short as the armour around his chest crushed inwards, and he was dragged backwards, boots grinding along the dirty floor.
“No, please, no!” he shouted, reaching up to take off his helmet, his modulated voice giving way to the cracking begging of a real person. “I’m sorry!”
The stormtrooper tried to squirm around, still begging for his life.
Azasham glared at him, the icy fury coming off of her choking his screams. She looked into his eyes as the hope, and then life, faded from them. The lightsaber burned his flesh as it cut him smoothly from shoulder to hip, the plasma blade giving just enough resistance that she knew he was there. He held together and whimpered incoherently as he died, stumbling forward. His hands grabbed at Ashasam’s clothes and she watched him, fire still burning. She brought her saber up and stabbed him in the chest, and unneeded move that pushed him away and ended the last few moments of his life.
She looked at him, wound up like a Kodashi viper and nothing else to strike at and fill with the deadly venom other species always expected she had. She looked down at her lightsaber, gripping the hilt so tight her orange fingers became pale. Her anger and hatred for the Empire that took everything from her stretched out and collapsed inward, coalescing into her blade. Streaks of unmistakeable crimson cracked through the viridian like Sith lightning, and the humming lightsaber wavering in pain as it was made to bleed.
The kyber within lashed out, and pain flashed up Azasham’s arm. She dropped the lightsaber to the ground, blade still emitting. She fell to her knees next to it, reaching out trembling fingers.
“I’m so sorry…” she whimpered, wincing as the words left her lips. They sounded so much like that trooper’s words. She touched the hilt, worried that it would turn red again, but the blade stayed green and true. She held the blade up and knelt her head, controlling her breathing and began to meditate.
“The Force is with me. I am with the Force…”
“Whatever you do is up to you,” Azasham said in the present, her voice giving away very little, but still Sozafi sensed there was something more. “I’m only here to teach you balance. Control.” “Over my powers?” “No, over yourself. But, yeah, kid. You’ll learn all the cool powers. One day you might even need them. You’ve been incredibly lucky, Force preserve you, but there’s no way that will keep up.”
Over the next several weeks, Azasham put Sozafi through their paces. That first lesson was easy. If there was one thing that Sozafi could do, it was let their mind wander. Sending out their senses to the vastness of the galaxy was a lot easier than dodging heavy durasteel crates that Azasham moved around first back and forth and then in spiral patterns and finally seemingly at random.
Sozafi was still living on their own, but Azasham was loaded, and gave them enough money to afford a decent apartment. Not in the same penthouses that Azasham lived, but now they wouldn’t have to worry about getting stabbed when they were leaving. That had only ever happened once, and it wasn’t deep, but the new place was much better without having to worry about that.
After a few weeks of meditating and concentrating, trying to learn how to lift things of their own, and dodging crates as big as they were, Azasham finally started to give Sozafi “lightsaber” training. Except she didn’t want to give her the actual thing just yet. First to learn the forms, they had to use a collapsible baton.
“It’s the same thing,” Azasham teased, a baton in one hand and her lightsaber in the other. Sozafi felt the Force as Azasham extended the baton with it while igniting the lightsaber. “See?”
Then she turned the one off and let the other collapse. She tossed the less impressive of the two to her apprentice. At one point Sozafi might have been caught off guard, but now their reflexes had been sharpened and they flicked it out in the same motion as the catch.
“Yeah, I feel just like a jedi now,” they replied, waggling the security weapon in a way that didn’t at all seem threatening.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. We’re starting with forms, you won’t need to swing a laser sword around. “We’ll start with Shii-Cho, the Way of the Sarlaac. This is the first form that a Jedi learns, from the days when lightsaber combat was new…”
After that, each day added an additional lesson. Meditation. Stretching. Avoiding obstacles. Lightsaber forms. Meditation. Blaster training. Concentration. Combat training, with and without a weapon.
It was grueling, and each night Sozafi would go to bed sore and smiling. There was a meaning to it all. It was different from simply stealing from the rich and pawning their junk and hoping to make it through the week. Every day was another push forward to something.
Every so often, at intervals Sozafi could only guess at, they were given a reprieve from lessons, and left to their own devices, often with the instruction to practice some form maneuver or sophisticated telekinetic trick. Running a rock through some maze without touching the side or juggling objects with their mind. These reprieves would happen once every week or two, and could sometimes last days.
Sozafi had figured out by now that Azasham was actually some kind of a criminal, and that she often went off world, but it was still a shock when they were commed after a week long hiatus by a grunting and pained sounding Azasham.
“Kid…” her voice came from the speaker, distorted and crackling. “Get to my apartment. Hurry.”

“...and walk away with a trip to beautiful Las Vegas Nevada! Enjoy a complimentary 5 day 4 night stay at any MGM casino resort all on us! No nonsense, no gimmicks. Just a bit of your precious time! Call today!”
Yes. A vacation extravaganza all on the arm. Courtesy of the Hibou Timeshare Corporation. All it cost was your time and cooperation for a timeshare presentation. Simple enough yes? I wish I would have realized how much better a couple of overtimes would have served me, than taking myself to that horrid building.
I was living in Phoenix AZ with my parents. Still half way bullshitting my final semester at college. I’ve got to be honest, I was checked out. It was summer..I was going to graduate and I had these final two classes in the bag. I could have failed my finals and still walked out with a C. Yes but that kind of luxury came at a price. My social life was the casualty in all of this. While I did have a tight knit of pals, my attendance to social gatherings were...well..less than punctual. I was usually doing work for one of my advanced classes. If not that, then I was pulling a shift at either of my jobs. Yeah..you could say I gave up the glamour of late night pizzas, puking in my friends car and hooking up with a random ASU frat sluts for a heavier wallet...except I was paying everything out of my own pocket. My gas, insurance, cell, college. I wasn't exactly hiding cash in the walls. My parents worked hard but..never did make a living to give me and my siblings an extravagant lifestyle. We were grateful though.
So when I heard that AD of how I could get a long needed vacation to party central Las Vegas, all for watching some BS timeshare I knew I wasn’t going to buy into, you bet your ass off I made that call. The phone only rang once before I got an answer,
“Thank you for calling the Hibou Timeshare Corporation, how can we help you?” a voice rang through the phone. The voice sounded shrill and sickly.
“Hi, I'm calling about the vacation in Vegas? Says that you need people for a presen..”
“Yeessss.” the voice interrupted “The timeshare presentation, well...we would be so honored to have you”
“Uhh..yeah...anyway I’d like to sign up? Is there a form online or do you take the information here?” I said..now feeling a bit tense.
“Well I'll tell you what...pack your things for the vacation. When we are finished presenting..we can send you on our way to Vegas. We just need..a bit of your time.”
That was that. He gave me the address, date and time of the meeting. The area was in a place called Amargosa Valley in Nevada. Luckily it was just about an hour away from Vegas. Before we parted ways on the phone, the operator said something...he said something that should have been a MAJOR red flag.
“Okay then, you’re all set...we will see you July 28th at 4:30pm. Not a moment later” he laughed
“Oh..and..one more thing, if you have some more specimens like yourself that might be interested in the free vacation...bring them along. They’ll all receive the same prize and you will receive $100 cash for every person you bring. We look forward to presenting you, Austin. Good day.”
I never gave him my name.
Still, my young dumb brain didn’t hear anything past $100 dollars. So I rounded up a few of my best pals and we were set to meet the reps over at the timeshare. The days leading up to the trip I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was so exciting. My first real vacation in...i couldn't remember how long. I longed for this type of adventure with my friends. We packed a truck full and set off to Amargosa Valley.
I brought Luke, Larry and Adam. We’d been friends since the 3rd grade. We all moved to AZ from different parts of the country that summer, so being new kids we naturally ganged up together. Luke was from Texas..we called him Tex. Real big guy. Loved to work out but definitely was a bit of a boozebag. Larry was from Ohio. Quiet in public but probably the loudest of us all. Always had some political conspiracy to talk about. Then Adam..Adam was interesting. He was from Florida...or Georgia...or Nebraska. Adam never could keep it straight about where he was from. He always had some sort of story and backtrack about where he’d come from. I personally thought he was probably from another part of AZ and just wanted to fit in...so we humor him and let him be the nomad of our group. I myself was originally from California...things got pricey so we made the move to blistering AZ.
That was my crew. No matter how long it had been, we were always as tight as ever. The ride was filled with laughing and gags. Stops at fast food joints and all around bullshitting. Yes it was an amazing time just driving there, we couldn't wait to get on with the meeting and head down to Boozeville USA. As we approached our destination...something felt off. Amargosa Valley had been a bit of a ghost town the whole drive. A gas station here. A small outlet there...but otherwise unpopulated. When we hit our destination we were met by a Chrome building. Smack center in the middle of the highway. As we parked at the only stall..we all took a look at each other.
“Well this is...odd.” Luke said plainly.
“Yeah man...are we really going there?” Adam shook out. Barely containing his fear.
“Look guys, I know it looks weird. This place is really clean and bright in the middle of a dusty desert but c’mon. It's like what...an hour of our time? Within 2 hours we’ll be on our way to the dopest guys trip ever.” I said...selfishly.
The guys all agreed. We got out, locked the car up and walked in through the sliding glass doors. The cool air hit us like a wave. Each of us breathing in the refreshingly cold air. The inside of this lobby..was also immaculate. Chrome everywhere. Right down to the sofas and chairs. A woman came from around the front desk.
“You must be here to be presented. I see you brought more specimens! What a joy! Will you gentlemen please follow me?” She said.
Specimens. Ugh. Her tone. That word still makes me shutter.
Me and the boys looked at each other..all with the same should we do it look on our faces. Maybe it was the cold air enticing our sweaty brows. We’d been a poorly AC’D truck for a couple hours. Or maybe it was the ice cold drinks she presented in front of us. Whatever the case we followed her through a door behind the front desk and were met with a grand auditorium. It looked as if it could hold maybe 50 people. And all they had was me and my knucklehead friends. As we sat down, sucking down sodas and waters, a mans voice came over the intercom.
“Welcome my friends to the Hibou Timeshare Corporation presentation. Today you will be examining the lifetime of these vessels. Determine whether or not you think they are a smart investment and make a choice if you would like to partake!” I recognized the voice. It was the same shrill tone that I set up the appointment with.
“Now my dear friends, it's time to sit back with your favorite drink...and listen..”
With that, a large projector screen came down from the celine. An old timey countdown began winding down.
BEEP3...BEEP2...BEEP1
From what I can remember, I heard the screams of something...unnatural. A scream so high tone that I felt as if my ears would burst with blood. I tried clasping my hands over my ears but to no avail. The screams were too overpowering. As soon as it started, I passed out.
I awoke looking at the lights on the celine. Unable to sit up. I could tell I was bareass naked on a metal table. I moved my head, the little that i could to see Adam next to me on another table. Naked as the day we were born. He was encased in what looked like a light purple energy field. Looking more in depth, I too had this field in front of me. Before I could speak the tables raised up. Bringing me upright. Bringing me face to face with Tex. To the left of me..Larry. “My friends, I present to you: Terramite 99-0 specimens.” a voice rang out. The same voice from the auditorium.
“They are..of the male species. Strong. Cunning and above all loyal...if raised properly.”
“HEY, you bastards. WTF is this! LET US GO!” Tex cried out. Before he could continue, the energy field tightened around him. Tex let out a scream that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The smell of burned flesh and hair filled the area. I would have puked had the horror of seeing my best friend being burned alive wasn't keeping my attention away from the smell. When the field lifted, Tex was stripped down to the muscle fibers. Hair burned down to the scalp. Tex convulsed until he finally relaxed into a hanging position on the table.
“Now see..specimen is now sedated. Relaxed into a weaker position. With the energy field keeping him contained and the Auto-Reversal Time Warp engaging, we can have this specimen back into working shape immediately.”
There was an electrical hum in the air. As before my eyes, Tex’s skin began to heal. His hair growing back. And all burns subsiding. It was as if nothing had happened to him. He still hung in limbo, but we could see the breath return to his chest.The rest of us let out bits of gasps of horror and astonishment.
I could see Adam crying a bit in the corner of my eyes.
A figure appeared from behind me. A tentacle graced my shoulder, not even phased by the force field. I caught sight of the creature. It stood around 7foot tall. Skin that looked human but a head that was elongated. No nose. And eyes that were black as coal. It had two tentacles for hands. I could not see its feet, as it was covered by a long gown.
Larry screamed in anger. “Your...your...a...a…” he managed to get out before the creature silenced him.
“Shhhh….I am...a salesman is all. Now my friends I will demonstrate the life cycle of the Terramite 99-0’s.”
With that, Larry's forcefield began to hum. Right before my eyes Larry began to get...smaller. Not in stature necessarily, no, but in age. He went from being a young man..to a teenager..to that kid i met in 3rd grade..to an infant. His cries were extremely loud. Unaware of the horrors around him. At that moment I could hear Adam's field begin to hum.
“Please no! Please!” Adam begged.
“If you will direct your attention to our third pod:”
Adam then began to scream as he went from a young man..to middle aged man...to retirement age and finally...to a decrepit old man. Hair as white as snow. Wrinkled beyond recognition. Each breath looking to nearly be his last.
“From birth to the declining ages of 70 to 100 Terran years…the Auto-Reversal Time Warp pods are the perfect tool to use when training your armys, your children, your slaves. Imagine...never having to replace workers. Never worrying if your training methods or punishments might go too far. Never losing a prisoner to death.” The creature said. Full of glee in his dead eyes.
Between the crying of baby larry and incoherent babbling of old man adam, the room felt like it was spinning. Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger, the rest of the lights came to life. The room we were in were surrounded by seats, similar to the ones we sat in. However, sitting in these seats were ghastly creatures of different varieties. Some looked like the salesman creature. Others were ogreish. Large bodied creatures covered in a film of slime. Some of them even looked human. It was the eyes though...their eyes were a teal color with white pupils. Many many creatures looked up me and my friends. All of them began clapping their hands in unison. The claps were deafening. The cries of the baby felt as if a baseball bat was connecting with my head every second. Adams babbling was terrifyingly disturbing. And Tex...hanging there. Eyes rolled back into his skull. I couldnt imagine the hell he began to feel. At this point I wondered what awaited my fate. The clapping stopped abruptly.
“Oh...Austin...yes, well if you want to know what fate awaits you just shut your eyes. Shut your eyes and quietly count back from 3.” the creature said...was he reading my mind?
Suddenly the urge to close my eyes overtook me. Almost as if I had no choice, I began counting down. 3….2….1….
Everything went black. I wasn't sure if i was alive or dead...or somewhere in between. I saw nothing but black for what felt like a lifetime. And in an instant...I heard that same shrill scream. Only this time I could not cover my ears. I couldn’t feel my body but I felt an unimaginable amount of pain. As the scream grew to its peak, I slammed my eyes open. Trying to catch my breath.
I was back in the car...we were all back in the car. The engine was on. Shitty ac blasting. The others were still out. I sat up in my seat. Not wanting to move too suddenly. The sun was beating down on us. I looked over at the time on the dash…July 28th 4:34 pm. I reached into my shirt pocket and I found several vouchers for the MGM hotels in Vegas along with $300 dollars. I also found a card that simply read “Hibou Timeshare Corp. would like to thank you for a bit of your time”
The boys came too. All feeling rather groggy.
“We all fell asleep huh?” Adam laughed. “We here?”
They didn't remember a thing. Not one thing. Not going in...not the reception area...not the freaky timeshare presentation...not one bit. I lied...i told them that while they were sound asleep, we arrived a little earlier than expected. The presenter had an emergency and left our vouchers at the front desk and apologized profusely.
“Wow, what a gentleman!” Tex laughed. “We definitely owe it to him to sit through another timeshare, probono.” Larry added.
I think it's safe to say that I will not be returning to this or any other timeshare. As I drove away I could see the building disappear in the rear view mirror.
So if you’re traveling deep within the southwest of the United States and hear an ad for a free vacation that's too good to be true...do yourself a favor..turn off the radio, call into work and ask for some overtime..because nothing is ever given for free.

The groundwork is now in play for us to develop a S. American Solution to space habitation. Doing so will require 3 projects in order to fully achieve a "sprint" at temporary dominance in space before N. American systems come online that must be compensated for. Achieving this has brought 3 distinct designs to be rapidly put into play following opening operations by the HX launch center in Venezuela.

La Paz Station (LEO [500-800km])

La Paz is being considered as a logical first step to S. American space exploitation as Skylab was to the moon landing. La Paz station has been designed as a logistics base in order to facilitate several key goals seen as being necessary for inter-solar activities:

• spacecraft assembly
• orbital propellant depot
• asteroid ore refinery
• using asteroid ore to manufacture fuel and orbital construction materials to be sold in orbit
• refining platinum group metal bullion to be sold on Earth

To help facilitate these needs, the station's design is set to incorporate a number of features. These being a large pressurizable free-fall garage to act as a spacecraft servicing and assembly area (similar to a drydock in most regards) situated next to an anti-radiation storm cellar to help keep the onboard crew safe from solar flares, radiation storms, or potential degradation of radiation shielding all being housed within a stationary central "stator". Around the garage will sit many tanks designed for water-trimming, air and fuel storage, and emergency escape capsule containers. Extending from the "mouth" of the garage is planned a set of robotic manipulator arms to help with docking efforts, the capture of payload, or general maintenance.
Attached to the said stator is planned the habitation module of the station. Comprised of the centrifuge (designed to provide artificial gravity to the crew) it spans 100m with a spin of 3 RPMs used to simulate Earth-like gravity at 1 gee. This habitation module is counterweighted at the opposite end of the 100m length in order to provide stability to the station. To attach the centrifuge to the stator without causing unwanted friction a magnetic bearing is used. To help further provide stability to the station a long boom is planned (at the length of 350m) pointed directly down in order to tidally lock the station to Earth. To further alleviate stress on the station the centrifugal module is planned to stay in parallel to the station plane of orbit.
Transfer of crew from station to the centrifugal habitation module is planned to make use of an airlock "pod". Said pod, being a pressurized capsule with docking hatches on both ends and riding a rail, will start docked from the stator. Once crew moving from the stator (or calling from the hab) are safely inside, the capsule detaches from the stator (after locking hatches ofc) and moves towards the centrifuge along the rail whilst at the same time beginning a spin to match speed with the centrifuge. Once the pod has reached the centrifuge hub it will have matched the spin and can easily dock with the hub, opening its hatchway to allow the crew to enter or exit the pod.
On the lower end of the tidal boom, the entirety of which comprises most of the station's length is planned will sit the station's storage which will be used for both their intended purpose as well as acting as shielding for crew members against solar storms. Further up will sit a 4 solar panel arrays and a single array of radiators designed to provide the station with power and bleed off any unnecessary heat from the station. Being fully enclosed, this will allow for the crew to move around the stations lower length performing maintenance, scientific experiments at labs, component assembly, or utilizing onboard electric forges to process raw materials.
The upper end of the boom will mostly only consist of an open truss with enclosed sections of the stator only enclosing a portion of its length and a portion towards the end similarly enclosed. Movement between the two sections will be achieved via a rail system with an airlock present at both ends as well as the top of the boom. This will crew/payloads to be transferred up the length of the boom and deployed into higher orbits utilizing the station as a refueling/assembly point. Similarly, at the bottom of the boom is planned an airlock and a skyhook (of sorts). Whilst, not a true skyhook as to pluck craft from deep atmosphere and suffering from some of the same problems, it will allow craft/payloads arriving at the station to expend far lest propulsive mass in order to achieve orbit with the station. To compensate for the loss of momentum from such an act a series of ionic thrusters are planned at the bottom of the station to be used to help prevent the station from simply falling into the atmosphere (as well as such corrections not relating to a skyhook).
While the station's primary goal has it facilitating astroid mining, it runs into a rather paradoxical issue in that asteroid mining won't exist until such a facility is in place and a facility won't be in place unless there is asteroid mining in need of it. To help compensate for this, the station will primarily be used (in the first phase) to assemble, deploy, and maintain satellites and craft looking to leave earth orbit. Once asteroid mining as the industry comes into its own, then the station's functions will transfer over to material processing and shipping.
Altogether a total crew capacity of 20-30 is planned with options for later expansion of crew facilities.

Lima 1 (LEO[600 KM])

Lima Station is in of themself, designed to fully commercialize space the public and provide those willing and wanting to experience space as a luxury the chance to as well as provide ample room for scientific experimentation and development. Lima 1 is designed to incorporate four distinct elements into its construction the Gateway, the Central Port, The Inner Ring, and the Outer Ring. Each provides a certain function to Lima 1 and together form the next and first generation of S. American Space Habitation.
The Gateway is, in itself, to Lima 1 as a deck is to an aircraft carrier (but in a vacuum) and is designed to facilitate the transfer of shuttlecraft to and from the station. The Gateway holds an unpressurized volume greater than 270,000m3 with approximately 10 total airlock gates, 8 cargo airlocks, and 14 active bay pads (used to move shuttle craft around the Gateway). The bay will be the first constructed area of Lima 1 supporting and facilitating building the rest of the structure.
The next is the Central Port. The Central port is designed to be the business heart of Lima 1. It is here that Lima 1's administration, control room, storage, viewing areas, environmental processing, and Gateway will be located. Designed to house 50 crew with a width of 152m and depth of 76m the Central Port has a total pressurized volume greater than 1.1 million m3. Built second to the Gateway, this section will officially allow for economic/solar operations to begin on the station allowing our personnel to get a feel for the station and test the design before full operations and expansion go into effect.
The Inner Ring is designed to accommodate the first of those willing to take a vacation into space as well as allow our scientists access to microgravity experimentation. Producing 20% of earth gravity via centrifugal spin, the Inner ring the planned features will include such areas as a large open-air gymnasium, a Japanese style garden, a fabulous destination hotel, a food court with restaurants, a band stage for concerts, and a casino. However, this won't just be an exercise in luxury as part of the garden will be situated for vertical farming in order to allow our scientists to better understand and design solutions around farming in micro-gravity. The hotel itself will feature several sound-proof hotel rooms allowing the best sleep in microgravity that can be achieved. Under the guest rooms, a series of hangers housing escape vehicles are planned to give guests to the station the best sense of security possible while enjoying their stay. While guests to the station might have a lot of fun playing around in the inner ring, areas will be designated to the sciences allowing our scientists and engineers to experience, plan, and test in micro-gravity on a scale not normally afforded to other scientific teams around the globe. The width of this disk is slatted at 304m with a depth of 76m which narrows to 45 m at the rim. Gross volume in the Ring is upwards of 3 million + m3 and planned guest rooms set to 300 with solar panel energy generation (along the outside of the ring) expected to achieve total energy output of 10.4 Mw.
The final part of this station will be the Outer ring. Connected via one of four connecting tunnels the outer ring will produce 30% of earth gravity with spacious accommodations for upwards of 1000 residents for lease/rent. With a width of 488m, depth of 45 m, and height of 30 m the total gross volute of this outer ring is slatted at 2.23 million + m3 with similar solar power generation techniques pulling in approx. 45.7 Mw of energy.
Building Lima 1 will happen in stages with the first 3 stages happening closer together with a final "proving" stage occurring 1 year after construction to nail down any issues that might arise before finally building the outer ring. During this time, occupancy of the Inner Ring will be kept to around 30% total occupancy and expanding to 100% after the proving stages are complete. After which a similar proving period will occur with the Outer Ring keeping occupancy to 30% before expanding that to 100%. Each station in of themselves, making use of industries and technologies either currently in development or having been developed within the last century, should be relative "cost-efficient" with a price tag for both coming in at $10 billion USD utilizing the HX launch system, taking into account cost for materials, and labor.
Implementation times are as follows (with material stockpiling and manufacturing occurring within the 2 years period that the HX system comes online after the design phase):
La Paz:

• Design Phase: 2 years
• Construction Phase: 2 years
• Full operations within 4 years

Lima 1:

• Design Phase 2 years
• Construction Phase 1: 2 years
• Proving Phase: 1 year
• Construction Phase 2: 1-1/2 years
• Proving Phase: 1 year
• Full operation in 7 1/2 years