India won by 3 wickets Ajinkya Rahane: "It really means a lot to us. I don't know how to describe this victory. I'm just proud of all the boys, each and every individual. We just wanted to give our best, not to think about the result. When I went in, conversation between me and Pujara was Puji to bat normal and me to go for my shots, because we knew Rishabh and Mayank were there. Credit to Pujara, the way he handled the pressure was magnificent, and Rishabh was brilliant in the end. Taking 20 wickets was the key, that's what we identified, that's why we picked five bowlers. Washington Sundar got that balance for us, intention was to play five bowlers. Siraj had played two Test matches, Saini one, Thakur one, Natarajan also on debut, all credit to them. After Adelaide we didn't discuss about what happened, we just wanted to play our game, show good attitude, show good character on the field. It was all about the team effort. I would also like to thank our fans who came out here and supported us, and the Indian team would like to give Nathan Lyon a signed jersey for his 100th Test match." Tim Paine: "Absolutely disappointed. We came here to win the Test and win the series, it's been a bit of a trend that we were found wanting in the key moments and completely outplayed by a tough Indian side that fully deserves the win. I think there's lots of things we'll look back at, but what's done is done. We need to look forward now, there's a big series in South Africa coming up, we've been outplayed by the better side in this series. I think we got about what we wanted in the end. We wanted to set a bit over 300, dangle a carrot to win the Test match and win the series. We might have had another 20 overs had it not rained. But India turned up and put their bodies on the line. [Reviews] are part of the job. sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But all credit to India, our bowlers threw everything at them." Pat Cummins is the player of the series. "Good hard day of Test cricket today, I thought Rishabh and the whole Indian side played fantastically, took the game on and deserved the win. I would have liked the cracks to play a few more tricks, but it was a pretty good wicket. Once you were in, it was pretty free-flowing, the runs. I thought today and in Sydney the game was ours to win on day five, but we didn't take enough wickets, but overall happy [with my performance]." Rishabh Pant is the man of the match. "This is one of the biggest moments of my life now, and I'm happy that all the support staff and all my teammates supported me even when I wasn't playing," he says. "It's been a dream series. The team management always backs me and tells me, you are a matchwinner and you have to go win the match for the team. I keep thinking every day that I want to win matches for India, and I did it today. It was a fifth-day pitch and the ball was turning a bit. I thought I have to be disciplined with my shot selection." Send feedback|Schedule|Stat Help Please don't post illegal streaming links in match threads
My $112,000 climate change portfolio at the age of 19 & what I've learned
First of all, I am incredibly privileged. When my grandpa passed away in March, I inherited $30,000. I had $10,000 saved up as well from working the prior summer and that $10,000 was already invested in the stock market. In high school I found out about stocks in my economics class and the day I turned 18 I invested every penny I had. Once again, I am privileged to be able to invest this money at all.. I have a college fund to pay my tuition, I don’t have to worry about when my next meal is coming, and I have the freedom to spend my money as I choose. Anyways, in March & April when the market crashed I decided it was time to really dive into the stock market. I spent about 5 hours every day researching companies and I’m here to share what I’ve learned. In my opinion, thecompaniesyouinvestinshouldbeanextensionofyourworldview. Where do you think the world will be in 10 years+ and what industries will prosper from the change. As I was raised in a liberal family and hold these values, I’m quite concerned with ClimateChange. I’ve taken college classes in this realm since and learned more about the risks we face. I believe that any company whose mission revolves around mitigating the climate crisis will prosper in the coming decades. That being said, I’ll list the companies I hold and a very brief synopsis of what they do and why I hold their stock. Pleasedoyourownresearch; this is only meant to introduce young investors to a certain mindset that I hold and the companies that I choose to support. 1) Tesla(TSLA) portfolio weight: 22.86% gain/loss 1026%gain You guys all know what Tesla is about. They are the premier EV company with goals of cutting battery costs by 56% and producing 20,000,000+ cars in the decade. They also have a growing energy business with solar roofs, panels, battery storage and an autobidder software. Tesla is priced insanely high by traditional metrics. If these metrics are your investing style then it’s not for you. If you’re like me, and you look for companies to hold for decades then I believe Tesla is one of the best investments out there. What other company will benefit from the transition to renewables in response to climate change and changing political conditions? 2) MPMaterials(MP) portfolio weight: 12.68% gain/loss: 197%gain MP is the only active rare earth mineral miner in the U.S. They produce neodymium concentrates which are important components in NDPR magnets; used in EV motors, wind turbines, electronics & much more. I bought MP during their early pre-merger days and have already seen considerable profits in a few months. I’ve been shaving this position to keep it around 10% because it is a commodity play which can be quite risky. That being said, rare earths are expected to appreciate substantially in price as EV demand increases. Furthermore, MP is moving downstream to refine their rare earths themselves, as they currently ship them to China to be refined, and in the future they plan on manufacturing their own NDPR batteries. This will increase their margins greatly. 3) Planet13(PLNHF) portfolio weight 5.35% gain/loss: 147.71%gain This one is a MJ stock and I’m focusing mostly on my Climate Change investments on this post so I’ll keep it brief. They own a superstore in Vegas and have their own brands. I believe the MJ industry is going to explode soon and PLNHF will benefit. 4) JinkoSolar(JKS) portfolio weight: 4.91% gain/loss: 268.88%gain Jinko Solar is a leading solar panel manufacturer in China. They’ve seen market consolidation in China and are poised to benefit from increasing demand and incentives around solar energy. Specifically, South East Asia is expected to see dramatic growth in renewables as China/India are responsible for a large portion of global emissions and are also seeing considerable growth in GDP and population. It’s a play on the South East Asian economy and renewable industry. 5) SolarEdge(SEDG): portfolio weight: 4.89% gain/loss: 108.5%gain SolarEdge is the global leader in panel inverters, which turn the sun’s D.C. current into usable electricity for households (A.C. current). The inverter space is a much more consolidated industry with higher margins than panels. They trade at a more expensive multiple and are expected to see dramatic top and bottom line growth in the coming years. Solar panels need inverters to perform; simple as that. With fewer companies focused on this space, I expect the top players to have a large market share and grow along with the solar energy market. SEDG is also expanding into the energy storage and EV charging markets with recent acquisitions. 6) EnphaseEnergy(ENPH) portfolio weight: 4.43% gain/loss: 203.08%gain Enphase is also in the inverter market, with their differentiated microinverters. Micro Inverters are generally used in smaller systems and optimal for residential solar. Everything said above about the inverter market is true for Enphase as well. Enphase’s business goes beyond inverters though. They are targeting a full residential energy ecosystem, with storage and their “Enlighten” software App, which will manage home energy usage and sell excess energy back to the grid. Enphase is very much a play on a future decentralized microgrid, with homes trading energy to each other as prices fluctuate. 7) CanadianSolar(CSIQ) portfolio weight: 4.42% gain/loss: 118.32%gain Canadian Solar is another panel manufacturing company. They are also seeing growth in market share as smaller players struggle during the pandemic. CSIQ is a low cost producer with residential, commercial and grid level projects. They are planning on expanding their recurring revenue stream through full and partial ownership of solar projects. You can read more about this on the IR page. CSIQ is a pure solar play with an international footprint and vast management expertise. They will certainly benefit from any movement towards renewables, especially if legislation is passed to set a price on carbon. 8) Lemonade(LMND) portfolio weight: 3.93% gain/loss: 112.52gain Lemonade is not a climate change related investment. It’s highly speculative but I think their management team and business model is really cool so I put some money in (and quickly more than doubled it). I’ll be brief here, but basically they are a home/rentepet insurance company that takes a flat 25% cut of premiums as revenue and uses the remaining money to pay out claims. They aim to align incentives by donating anything left over beyond the 25% to a charity of customers choosing. Also, their use of AI makes the registration and claims process seamless and “delights” customers. 9) TPIComposites(TPIC) portfolio weight: 3.73% gain/loss: 153.99%gain TPIC manufacturers wind blade composites. They supply the top five wind turbine companies outside of China. I wrote about them on prior posts so I’ll just copy & paste here:
63% of total wind blade manufacturing is outsourced to companies like TPI and they are the market leader in this space with about 20% market share globally. The business currently has low margins, but they target a 12% EBITDA margin for the future, and they trade at a measly 0.74 P/S ratio currently. They are also expanding into EV composite manufacturing and have a contract with Workhorse to manufacture vehicle parts for them.
10) SkyworksSolutions(SWKS) portfolio weight: 2.83% gain/loss: 60.57%gain Skyworks is a semiconductor focused on connectivity chips for all kinds of devices. They aren’t climate change related which is the point of this post so I’ll leave it at that. 11) TattooedChef(TTCF) portfolio weight: 2.65% gain/loss: 55.90%gain Tattooed Chef is a play on the rising plant-based food trend. They make a variety of frozen food items, widely available in Walmart, Costco and Target. They are expanding into Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s and many more stores, where I expect them to be very successful. The plant based market is exploding for a couple of reasons. Firstly, there is more research on the health benefits of a plant based diet, with athletes such as Chris Paul & Todd Gurley endorsing these brands. Also, consumers are becoming increasingly aware of the threat of climate change and how avoiding red meat can have a positive impact on the planet. I expect TTCF to benefit off of these trends and continue innovating in the plant-based space. I bought in 3 weeks ago and the price has exploded since then. 12) Workhorse(WKHS) portfolio weight: 2.60% gain/loss: 35.90%gain Workhorse is an electric delivery van company. They manufacture last mile electric vehicles and are developing drones to further decrease last mile delivery costs. They are a play on the e-commerce industry and electrification of vehicles. I’m invested in them because last mile delivery is responsible for a large chunk of transportation carbon emissions and in desperate need of electrification. I also believe that Workhorse will get a large chunk of the upcoming USPS contract which will provide a stable revenue stream. 13) Aphria(APHA) portfolio weight: 2.45% gain/loss: 53%gain Aphria is another MJ play for me. Once again they aren’t a climate change investment so I’ll keep it brief. They just finalized a merger with Tilray, making them the biggest cannabis producer in the world. They are based in Canada and I believe they will be the market leader in Europe, due to their infrastructure advantage through owning CC Pharma. 14) VestasWindSystems(VWDRY) portfolio weight: 2.40% gain/loss: 197.44%gain Vestas is the global leader in wind turbine manufacturing and installation. They are one of the few pure wind plays in the stock market, making them an attractive choice for anybody looking to get exposure to wind. A big driver if future growth will be their service and maintainace business, which their management team has been focused on in recent quarters. This is a higher margin business with consistent recurring revenues. 15) Facebook(FB) portfolio weight: 2.38% gain/loss: 20.61%gain I’m selling out of FB very soon but I still hold them for now. FB is an incredible business and I’m sure they’ll see growth in the future, but it just isn’t for me (anymore). I consider ethics a lot in my investments, which many of you may consider stupid but idc. 16) HannonArmstrong(HASI) portfolio weight: 2.18% gain/loss: 57.40%gain HASI is a REIT, which solely makes climate change related investments. They invest in the land under solar projects, energy efficient buildings and much more. HASI is a great dividend play and I expect their stock price to appreciate as climate change worries are exacerbated in the future. 17) BeyondMeat(BYND) portfolio weight: 2.10% gain/loss: 21.24%gain I made a post with some DD earlier this year on Beyond so I’ll just link that below: https://www.reddit.com/stocks/comments/if9tmj/beyond_meat_bynd_fundamental_analysis_with_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf 18) BrookefieldRenewablePartners(BEPC) portfolio weight: 2.06% gain/loss: 87.23%gain BEPC owns and operates a portfolio of renewable energy assets. Earlier this year they completed a merger with Terraform Power, expanding their solar & wind footprint. They are also the primer owner of hydroelectric power plants, which produce a consistent source of electricity. BEPC has a strong management team and owns valuable assets that will greatly appreciate in value as government incentives expand around renewable energy consumption. They also pay a nice dividend. 19) Disney(DIS) portfolio weight: 2.03% gain/loss: 50.06%gain I’m invested in Disney mostly for some portfolio diversity. I’m a big fan of their streaming platform and business strategy revolving around that. This one isn’t climate change related so I’ll leave it at that. 20) FirstSolar(FSLR) portfolio weight: 1.84% gain/loss: 70.47%gain First Solar is an American based panel manufacturer and projects operator. They used differentiated technology with Cadmoum Telluride panels, which are supposed to increase output and lifetime at a higher cost. FSLR is just another play on the growing solar industry, and being U.S. based seems to reward them a higher earnings multiple in the market than their peers. They also have a beautiful balance sheet. 21) TrulieveCannabis(TCNFF) portfolio weight: 1.44% gain/loss: 5.33%gain Trulieve is another Cannabis play. This one based in the U.S. with a large medical market in Florida. Nuff said. (Do your own research) 22) StarPeakEnergyTransition(STPK) portfolio weight 1.43% gain/loss: 55.45%gain Star peak is a brand new holding for me and already shot up like crazy. It’s one of these merger companies (the word is censored on this subreddit). merging with Stem energy storage. Stem is involved in the battery storage industry, with mostly grid level storage systems. They currently have an even larger market share than Tesla and my reason for holding this stock is mostly as a hedge against Tesla’s energy business. 23) Shopify(SHOP) portfolio weight: 1.10% gain/loss: 18.19%gain Shopify is an eCommerce platform, which allows customers to seamlessly design their own website and process payments. I’ve used Shopify in the past and am a big fan of the business, which is a big part of why I’m invested. They have a steep valuation but I plan on holding for 10+ years. Total gain: 181.52% (Note: I’ve taken some profits on a few of my stocks so the unrealized gain from my current holdings is less than my “total” gain by a few % points.) Yes, I’m young and idealistic and have a lot to learn but I do know a few things. Here’s some of the lessons I’ve learned along my 1 and a half year journey in the market.
By investing in a company, you are supporting them financially. Buying pressure on companies’ stocks increases the price and allows them to raise capital more efficiently. It might be hard to hear, but whenyoubuyExxonstock, youarehelpingthemdestroyourplanet. The same is true vice versa.
Don’tlistentoanybodyonreddit. Seriously. Nobody here knows any better than you. Do your own research, form your own judgements. If you’re gonna pick individual stocks then following advice on reddit is not the way to go. Reading through investor relations pages is the best way to go. Watch videos and read articles about both sides of the story with different companies. Don’t take these videos as facts though, just absorb what other people think and judge the validity of the information for yourself. It’s important to becomeanindependentthinker. This is a slow process but eventually you’ll get the hang of things.
Investwitha10+yeartimeline. This is especially true if you’re young like myself. Don’t concern yourself with daily or even monthly swings in a stock. Ask yourself if the company will be worth substantially more in a decade. If not, then say, if so then buy and hold. Don’t try to time the market or swing trade. You’re just bringing on unnecessary risk. Buy and hold and buy some more.
Assessyourownrisktolerance. As I’m sure several people will point out, my portfolio is incredibly speculative and risky from a traditional viewpoint. I have a really fucking high risk tolerance, so I invest with a “riskier” mindset. If I were to lose all my money tomorrow, I’d be fine. I’m going to have a college degree in a couple years and I’m not worried about being able to find a job. My reason for investing is about having the financial freedom to do whatever I want in life, and not worry about money in the future. If you’re investing for retirement or to pay off student loans, then I recommend taking a more conservative approach and maybe buying some index funds. However, if you’re young and have a stomach for risk like myself, then go crazy.
In conclusion, I’ve had an incredible year or so in the market. I don’t expect to have even close to these same returns in the future, but I’ve learned a thing or two and I’m here to share this information. You may disagree with everything I said and all the stocks I own and that’s okay! Don’t copy my portfolio and take everything I say with a grain of salt, however I hope you find some wisdom from this post! Edit: Since a bunch of people pointed out angrily in the comments that holding FB, DIS, SHOP and MJ stocks don't really align with "your investments should be an extension of your worldview," I agree with you guys. There are some notable exceptions, and not everything that us as humans do in our everyday lives align with our values. This is true of my portfolio too, however about 80% of the investments are climate change related, 10% weed (which I like) and the other 10% tech. If 90% of your actions in life further your world view then you're doing pretty damn good IMO Edit2: Also people seem to be pissed bc I inherited a lot of the money (3/4 of it) that I invested. I acknowledged already that I'm very lucky to be in this position and I don't really know what else to say about that, other than I aim to do something good with the money that I make
YSK: if you want a telemarketer to stop calling you, don’t curse them out, hang up without saying anything, or even ask them to take you off their list. Instead, tell them your phone is a business line, a wrong number, or simply mention the Federal No Call List or say you’ll report them on the BBB.
Why YSK: I’ve worked in a telemarketing firm. I know for a fact that cursing out a telemarketing employee is the best way to ensure that you get calls day in, day out. Most firms use automatic dialing programs, where you need to “disposition” the call after you hang up. So you select a preset from a menu of options to explain how the call went (ex. There’s an option for no answer, not interested, not qualified, and other things of that nature). There is also a Callback Later disposition, in which the phone number would be put back into the automatic dialer’s call queue at another point in the day. I’ve seen time after time, when a co-worker got cussed out over the phone they would always disposition the call as callback later. We were trained to never disposition a phone number as Do Not Call unless the “customer” threatens to report us to the BBB or if they mention the federal no call list. However there are also call dispositions for wrong numbers, which we would have to put for anyone who picks up the phone and says it’s a business line, or that they’re the new owner of the phone number and not the original person whom we had info for on a previous lead. Once a phone number was dispositioned as a wrong number, it was also taken out of the system. Also, no small business wants to get complaints written about them on the BBB, it’s hard enough for them to have a positive reputation as it is if they’re having a sales floor making 130k glorified cold calls on the daily. EDIT: This info is really only relevant for American based telemarketing companies as far as I know. I can’t speak on how other nations handle their telemarketers. However this info definitely isn’t relevant for India-based scam call centers. Some shitty criminal calling you out of most likely New Delhi India pretending to be Social Security or the IRS or a car warrantee specialist will not be in the slightest bit concerned about a federal no call list or the Better Business Bureau. EDIT 2: The whole BBB thing is mainly anecdotal, as my employer at the time trained everyone to remove any “customer” from the list who mentioned they would report us to it. TL:DR: telemarketing employees are just going to make sure you get called back by their company if you give them a hard time over the phone. Just mention the Federal No Call List or the Better Business Bureau or say it’s a wrong number or a business line and that’s an easier way to get you out of their system.
So what you are saying, basically, is you got rich because Bendolzians will have sex with each other more easily than humans will sex with each other? Yes. But what does THAT have to do with accusations of defrauding an entire species for billions? I didn’t do that. Ever. But everyone accused you off it? I made my money legally. Those charges were dropped. So why did you have 384 separate arrest warrants out on you at one time? Jealousy. Jealousy? You were accused of massive intergalactic fraud and theft by 83 separate nations, out of jealousy? Yes Mr Robert. That’s a big statement. I can back it up. With evidence. Alright. Not on the phone. It’s too dangerous. Come to my house. The Bendolzian consulate? My house. I know you are nearby. Come quick. Before someone tries to intercept you. They’re watching me closely. Get down to the marina. Look for a Bendolzian boat. How will I spot it? You’ll spot it. Hurry. They will be moving in on you from the moment this call ends. Click Belize, June 4th 2114 The line went dead. Robert Fadden blinked. The fact he managed to get a phone interview with the most elusive man on Earth was enough to keep his editor happy. He had heard the rumours, everyone had; Sanjay Gupta was an Indian who had made his fortune in the waste disposal business. Somehow a decade or so ago he then made a bigger fortune defrauding the Bendolzians. The details were sealed and secret. But everyone wanted this man. He had gone on the run. He was utterly paranoid they said. He lived on a private island where he partook in drug fulled orgies. He was a real life Bond villain. Still, mused Fadden, there WERE parts of his story that had his hard-nosed journalistic soul wondering. The Bendolzians had responded to the arrest warrants out on him by designating his island home their consulate and was considered Bendolzian territory. Rumour said he was forced them to do it- but how do you influence an entire alien species to do your bidding? And the charges were ALL mysteriously dropped a couple of years ago. No clear explanation was ever given. Every journalist on Earth wanted to work out what was going on with this story. And he had gotten to talk to the man. The first to have ever done that. Fadden sat at the desk of his hotel room, sweat clinging to his body. ‘They will be moving in on you’? Well the paranoia part was correct. Inwardly, Fadden could hear his mother, her strict Presbyterian Scottish accent, Don’t be having anything to do with dangerous men Bobby his internal version of her intones, Ya neva know what trouble it can land ya in. But another part of him hears the words of his editor, Get the story Rob, and I promise you a front page. For about ten seconds Robert Fadden is torn between prudence and daring, between caution and risk. He opts for risk. He moves without explanation or pause. He grabs his phone and throws it into his bag, followed by his digital recorder, a cheap digital camera, and the keys to the rental car parked in the garage below the hotel. He puts on his jacket (despite the heat) and heads out. He foregoes waiting for the old lift, but takes the fire stairwell: moving fast, leaping the last three steps to each landing, downwards, forwards, driven as much by the excitement of the story than the fears of some paranoid billionaire. In a few moments he enters the relative coolness of the underground car park; half full, he spots the small green 2093 Zephyr sat by itself. It was boxy, had seen much better days and was clearly the kind of hire car people on a budget would take. Which is why it was his. He leaps in, inserts the key, watches as its electric engine starts instantly and silently, and quickly makes his way up and out onto the street besides the Hotel Anacebo. The heat is stifling; even with the cars aircon he can feel it. A tropical heat, wet and stuffy, where the humidity was enhanced by the rainforest that surrounded the town and threatened, always, to overwhelm it. The town was small. All roads led either out to the forest or down to the marina. He took the turns to the latter. He didn’t drive especially quickly but he did glance, nervously, at his rear view mirror a few times. 30 years had passed since humans had encountered Bendolzians; a gentle, faintly insectoid, interstellar species, whose exploration ship had emerged on the edge of the solar system and who had come towards Earth broadcasting messages of peace in a dozen languages. Three decades of amazement and wonder. It had changed the world. The Bendolzians were far more advanced than we were in the realm of science. Human life expectancy had increased on average 25 years since they began sharing their technologies with us. People spoke of a new golden age. In return the humans had a culture and a civilisation that fascinated the aliens. Human music, human languages, human art. The Bendolzians, it was said, had given the human race the technology to produce stable clones in return for a live performance of a concerto by Bach. At least that is what everyone said. The aliens didn’t use currency. They gave us technology, we gave them culture. But as Fadden drove he realised that while a generation had passed since then and Bendolzian technology had impacted upon all aspects of human life... in some places it was more apparent than others. Here? Miles from anywhere, a small, poor town, in a small, poor province of a small, poor country? You couldn’t tell at all. The cars were ramshackle, the streets badly paved, the shops were basic. Life here carried on as if it was the 2030’s not the 2110’s. Poverty. Unemployment. Corruption. Mankind maybe wasn’t alone anymore but it sure hadn’t changed much. The marina’s car park is crowded but he finds a spot, parks the car, slugs his bag over his shoulder and strides towards the water. Inwardly he grins. He was on his way to meet a real life Bond villain. He scans the scene before him. As usual the place is filled with rusty fishing boats that have seen better days and a few small cargo craft. Further down is where the private boats are- he can see the masts of about two dozen yachts. Most will be small, he knows from experience; folks who live on the sea, often retirees. Living the dream and sailing the world. As he walks he finds himself looking behind him and wondering if anyone was following him... Stop it. The guys paranoid He strides onwards purposefully and notices a bunch of locals staring with real interest out at the edge of the marina. And then he sees what they are staring at. It’s a boat. It’s a boat because it moves on water. But no part of it is touching the water. It hovers about six feet above the waves, gliding through the air. Its not... flying... as it’s wake causes the water to stir as if it was gliding in on some kind of invisible fin. Long, sleek, elegant, very purple, and slightly ominous. Clearly the Bendolzian boat then. Robert makes his way towards the pier the boat seemed to be aiming at. The glare of the water makes him squint for a moment before he decides to put on his sunglasses. He stands there, watching the boat cut its engine and drift towards him. A tall Scot, in casual trousers, blond crew cut, and sunglasses. How very fuckin James Bond of ya, ya wee Weegie Shite! goes his inner monologue. Fadden is a tad disappointed that stepping onto the edge of the boat isn’t an actual Bendolzian but a human. By the looks of things, a local, dressed in a crisp white uniform. “Mr Fadden?” “Yes. Is this for me?” “Yes Mr Fadden. Please come on board. We have instructions to take you at once to the Consulate...” The Consulate of the Most Serene Chorus of the Beldolzia Collective had once been on the market as a millionaires retreat, a few decades ago. A half moon shaped island, two miles off the coast of Belize and facing the Caribbean. There was a mansion, tennis courts, private grounds, more. All available for anyone who wished for privacy and avoidance of US Tax laws. But then Sanjay Gupta has bought it and it had become an alien consulate and was one of the more discussed places on Earth. Still, as the craft sliced through the air above the sea Robert couldn’t help have the impression he wasn’t approaching the some evil lair, rather somewhere that looked like a small, tacky, tourist resort. It was conservative, slightly garish and very boring. No grand displays of alien technology, no alien flags, no aliens. As the ship carefully and expertly navigated to a landing pad next to a pier the only indication he was technically on alien soil was a small sign which informed visitors that this island was under the laws and jurisdiction of the Bendolzians. He was met by a polite staff and escorted to see the elusive billionaire. As he strides, Fadden looked about him. Can’t imagine anyone having an orgy in a place like this. Maybe a game of bingo... Twenty five minutes later, small talk over with, he has his recorder set up and mic placed to pick up his target. He had to admit- Sanjay Gupta was not what he was expecting. Bespectacled, hair thinning, his face filed with a smile that was a little too over eager, a growing gut. If anything Fadden would have said he seemed more needy Indian uncle than evil billionaire. The Scottish reporter clears his throat, turns on the recorder and begins. “So, Mr Gupta...” “Sanjay please. I prefer informality in my interviews,” comes the reply. Gupta’s English was perfect; the exact intonations of formal Received Pronunciation. Fadden could tell he had spent a lot to hide his origins form Uttar Pradesh. “Fine. Sanjay. So, for the record, why did so many governments accuse you of fraud and theft?” The billionaire smiles his over eager smile and sits back on his luxurious couch. “Do you know the precise accusations or only the board terms?” He’s avoiding... “Only the broad terms, obviously.” “Why is this? You are a journalist after all? Surely YOU would know more?” Fadden can sense some kind of trap, so makes sure to answer precisely. “The United World Global Council declared that since the crimes were committed against Beldolzians it would be better if the exact details remains a secret, to prevent any inter-species misunderstandings they said.” Gupta seems pleased with this answer, and nodding says, “Indeed. The seven nations in the UWGC decreed it and the other 79 in the general assembly who had made allegations against me agreed to follow their decision. So the world was only ever given a broad over view of what I supposedly did.” “Massive fraud of the Beldolzians,” says Robert, hoping to get more out of him, “and theft and deception. Hundreds of counts. Which makes me restate my question: Why?” “Because they were jealous. I merely saw a gap in the market first and they could not see a way of closing this gap,” comes the reply. “So the accusations were untrue?” “Indeed Mr Robert, but it is worse that that? They were a smokescreen. The governments of humanity only alleged those things so they could shake me down for money. They wanted a cut of my profits. Extortion. So I made a deal with them and suddenly the charges were dropped.” “Really?” Fadden tried to keep the skepticism out of his voice but fails. Gupta did not seem to notice. “Really Mr Robert. There WAS a fraud committed but not enacted by myself. It was done by the leaders of the world. I’m the victim here.” “That’s a very serious accusation...” “Would you like me to show you the emails? The private correspondence I have from the worlds leaders? The President of the EU? Prime Minister of the Greater Indian Republic? I even have a mail from the Patriarch of the Holy Russian Theocracy offering to lift the excommunication they had placed upon me, in exchange for hard currency. Extortion.” “Because you are making...” “Because I’ve made a fortune and made the Bendolzians very happy. Our alien friends pay me for simply providing them a service,” says the Indian. The Scot was having none of this, his hard nose journalist edge sought to sting his subject into revealing more. “By selling them fake art? That seemed to be the gist of the accusations.” Gupta smiles, all teeth and thin lips, but his eyes are cold. “I never sold fakes. I sold copies.” “You don’t pay a fortune for a copy,” spits back Fadden. “The Bendolzians do.” “Why?” Gupta thinks and leans forward and say quietly, ‘I need to talk about that sex statement I made on the phone yes?” “It was a hell of a statement to make. Provocative.” “Deliberately so, Mr Robert. But not incorrect.” “Explain it to me. Why do alien sexual practices mean you made fortune selling them copies of art?” The billionaire nods and leans back again, his eyes searching Fadden’s face for a moment. “Alright Mr Robert. I need to ask you a hypothetical question to begin. Indulge me for a moment.” “Go ahead,” comes the crisp Glaswegian accent. “Let us assume you are gay. Or that sexuality and gender is not something you cared about. I don’t know if you do, I don’t care, I just need you to suspend those concepts for me before I ask you this question,” says Gupta. “Alright. Consider them suspended. What’s the question?” “Would you be inclined to sleep with me. Right now.” Robert blinks. Part of him has to admit, he did NOT expect such a question. Rapidly, he regains his composure. “Er... no.” “Alright. Why?” “I don’t find you attractive. As men go. If I was to find a man attractive, I don’t think you would be it.” “So,” says Gupta, talking as casually as he would an old friend, “there is an aesthetic quality you would desire in a partner. My ‘looks’ are not attractive enough to entice you?” “Indeed. Not attractive enough.” The Indian smiles, this time with an amused twinkle in his eye. “But consider- I am the richest man on Earth. Worth billions. Being my sexual partner has its advantages then.” “Are you offering me cash to sleep with you? Hypothetically speaking of course,” says Robert, also amused at the conversation. “Let’s assume I’m not, so let me be more precise- isn’t there a certain allure to the idea of having said ‘I slept with the richest man on Earth?’ Would this change your mind?” “Maybe. I’m unsure.” “Let us assume then if you slept with me, you would receive financial benefits.” “How much?” “Assume a lot.” “No offence, it would have to be,” he says automatically, but the journalist inwardly worries if his reply went too far. Luckily it did not seem to have. “None taken. But assume it would be a life changing amount. Does this change your answer?” “Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. Probably.” “Aha. So the result of my proposition depends upon the CONTEXT it occurs in. By myself? You have no desire to have sex with me. With my wealth? Maybe. With material reward? Probably. I am correct in this?” Robert couldn’t help but worry where this was going. “Mr Gupta, I have to say...” “Mr Robert- firstly? It’s Sanjay. Secondly, let me assure you, I have NO desire to sleep with you. At all. You are are someone I do not find attractive. And you do not have an alluring multi-billion dollar fortune to help compensate for this.” Fadden grins, and says, “So why the questions?” “Consider the human criteria for sleeping with people. Trust me Mr Robert, I am not one of the winners in the lottery of life in this regards. But I am aware that all people have certain traits, certain criteria we all place before us when it comes to choosing a sexual partner.” The billionaire folds one leg under his body and gets into his stride. “For some it is good looks we value most. For others it is wealth. Others would find a man who is gentle to be what they seek for most. Still others would place the ability to make them laugh. Usually it is not just one thing, but a combination of things, of desires, that all mix together and are manifest in something called the hierarchy of desire.” The Scotsman blinks and says quietly, “You referring to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?” The Indians face lights up, the way a persons face changes when they realise someone understands what they are talking about. “Partly. Maslow’s theories do not have any scientific proof behind them yes? But they remain popular over 150 years after they come out because we all recognise something of ourselves in them?” “That’s a fair assessment,” says Robert, trying to remember courses in psychology and sociology he had studied in university decades ago. “So, I do not use HIS example as the actual model of this heirachy, as humans are more complex and there is probably much more interplay beteeen the actual levels...” “I’d always thought so.” “Good. We agree. But I use the term ‘hierarchy of desire’ as shorthand to describe the complicated, and uniquely individualistic ways we humans make the choice to decide if we are going to have sex with someone. Or not. There are a myriad of factors yes?” Robert remained silent. He’d have to do some reading after this interview to see if Gupta’s words were valid or just cherry picking aspects of things, but for now he was just letting his target speak. Gupta simply carries on. “Deep seated desires, physical fetishes, the circumstances you find yourself in, your location, all these are a factor. But, when the decision is made, we ALL follow a simple concept- where does the person who wishes to sleep with me fit within my heirachy of desire?” A shrug, “Above the criteria for sex? We will have sex most probably. Below it? And we most probably won’t.” Fadden sat and watched this little Indian explain the theory with glee. He was also aware he had allowed Gupta steer the interview away from him. It was time to try and bring it back. “Alright Sanjay, assume I agree with that. What has all of this to do with accusations of defrauding an entire alien species?” Sanjay Gupta sighs and shakes his head. He stands and walks away from the seating area towards the far wall of his grand study. Along one side, open windows with billowing curtains, reveal a stunning vista of the Caribbean but he ignores it. “Follow me please,” he says as he does this. Robert Fadden, startled, grabs his microphone and follows the billionaire. Gupta walks towards a painting at the far, far end of the massive room, leans upon a nearby desk and indicates to it. “Mr Robert? Please, look at this,” he says politely. The Scotsman joins the billionaire and gazed at the painting. It was sumptuous. A renaissance work he was sure. A woman holding a rather chubby baby, talking to another woman, with a man stood behind her. Robert is drawn to the way the sumptuous colours and fine detail. He gazed at it a few seconds and says “Beautiful. Is it expensive?” Gupta grins and says,”It is ‘A Sacra Conversazione: The Madonna and Child with Saints Luke and Catherine of Alexandria’ by the Renaissance master, Titian. Painted around 550 years ago. It was last sold in 2011 for just shy of 17 million dollars. Its current value is 378 million dollars. US.” Unsure of how to respond to the billionaire showing off his wealth Robert simply says, “It’s amazing.” Gupta raises his eyebrows. “I bought this for 250,000 dollars. Cash.” “Why so cheap?” “Its not the original,” comes the cool reply. “It isn’t?” “I paid a man in Hong King, a most skilled fabricator, that much cash to create a copy of it. A copy so good that only a true expert armed with a bevvy of technology would be able to detect it is NOT the real thing. It is by all accounts an amazing replica. Right down to the exact number of brushstrokes.” Robert gazed at it. It LOOKED authentic. He has no idea why he is looking at it, but part of him senses the billionaire is close to confessing his fraud, So remains silent. People hate silence. They fill it. Two seconds later Gupta fills the silence. “Next question Mr Robert; if this is virtually indistinguishable from the original, except to the eye of an utter expert who has spent a lifetime studying the paintings of Titian, why is original verison worth 1384 times more than this?” “Its a fake.” “No, it would ONLY become a fake if I ever tried to say it was the original. I do not. It is a replica. A copy. I repeat the question; why is it worth much less than the original?” “Because it’s NOT the original.” “Agreed. But why do we insist an original is worth more than a copy?” This is it Robert- this is him confessing... careful man... just entice him to confess... “I dunno”, comes the Scottish brogue accent, “it’s complicated. Why do we value art?” “A complex question, yes. But consider it this way- ultimately all you are saying is that the difference between this painting and the one it copies is the CONTEXT of both paintings yes?” Robert Fadden frowns and thinks for a moment before speaking. “Are you saying it’s like the way we pick sexual partners?” “Not in so many words but at its heart, yes. There is an underlying pattern of thought. The thoughts themselves differ Mr Robert, but the pattern of thought, the idea of a hierarchy of desire remains.” “I suppose I see your point Mr Gupta... Sanjay. But it’s rather thin don’t you think?” Slowly the billionaire walks away from the painting to the open windows and just beyond it, a wide balcony that runs along the side of the massive room. There is no wind today, but despite the sun, the balcony is in shade. Robert finds it so wonderfully refreshing... and it’s a heck of a view. As he walks, Gupta chats along with the journalist casually. “You know what I was reading the other day? The original reviews of an old 20th century movie called ‘Psycho’. It is an amazing film. It is about a woman who steals money of her employer and then flees to join up with her lover in another state. As she drives, she is troubled by a violent storm and so decides to stop on her journey at somewhere called the Bates Motel, where she meets the owner, one Norman Bates...” “Yes Sanjay, I am aware of ‘Psycho’. She gets murdered in the shower.” “Oh good. Now what’s interesting is that the critics, without exception, slated the film. They called it unimaginative and plodding and even said it was infested with tediousness. Meanwhile the public hated it. They did not go see it. It was a commercial failure.” The reporter frowns, “No. Wait. That’s not right. Hitchcock’s Psycho is a classic.” The Indian smiles broadly at this reply. “Ah. I refer to the remake made by Gus Van Sant 38 years later. An almost shot for shot remake of the original. A perfect copy. Utterly overlooked. It’s existence is almost forgotten about.” There was a remake? “Tell me- what is it about copies we hate so much? In the heriarchy of desire why do we hate ‘fakes’- men who try too hard, or movies that make copies of classics or modern versions of ancient paintings?” Fadden gazed at the waves for a moment and says, “Authenticity. We value authenticity.” “Ah, very good Mr Robert. We value authenticity. The key word there is ‘value’. When we talk about art we say authenticity. When we talk about sexual partners we can say sincerity. Or attractiveness. Whatever. It is NOT about HOW we place things in the heirarchy of desire, it is that we have these values at all that is crucial.” “Alright Sanjay. Let’s assume I go along with this. What does all this have to do...” “I’m getting to that Mr Robert. All I am saying ultimately is that when you study humans you quickly realise that this method of thinking in ingrained so deeply into us that it manifests itself in a million ways. So, shall I have sex with this person or that person? Shall I buy this suit or this coat? Shall I purchase this limited edition car? Shall I visit this country or that country? How much is this painting worth? Do you see?” Robert stares out at the sea for a few seconds. “Yes. I see. I think.” “Or put it this way. Take the Mona Lisa. The most expensive painting in the world. It said to be priceless but I happen to know that if you offered the French government 7 billion Euros? They would let you purchase it. Of course it must remain in the Louvre for all time. But for seven billion you get a little plaque next to it saying it’s yours.” Fadden can’t help but grin at Gupta. “You asked didn’t you?” “I was curious,” he laughs, “but now consider this. The Mona Lisa is worth 7 billion. A high grade copy of it printed on canvus with the best processes money can buy? Ten thousand euros. A low grade copy? Maybe 400. And a poster? Ten euro. See? We value originals, authenticated and unique above all others. And the CONTEXT of the other copies will dictate where we place them on the hierarchy of desire.” “Right but...” “But what about our alien friends?” “Indeed,” says Fadden. “Bendolzian’s are an odd bunch to look at. You must have seen pictures. Trust me they are much more shocking to meet for real. Eight feet high. Six legs around a long central core containing their mouth for eating and oriface for excretion. They have the torso above the core, which means arms, mouths, eyes and ears and crucially brains are separate from functions for eating and movement...” “Yes I am aware of how... different they look. When did you first have dealings with them?” The billionaire began walking back to his fake painting by the desk, the reporter carefully making sure his microphone picks up every word. Gupta seems to be happy to talk about his dealings with the aliens. “I first visited the Bendolzian home world 9 years ago. Part of a mostly failed trade delegation. I was hoping to see if they needed any large scale waste disposal.” “Go on?” “My first day there? I met a human XenoBiologist. One of the first who went there. He told me something fascinating. The Bendolzians love sex. For the sake of sex.” Robert nodded. Back to the sex talk. “They DO?” He tried to sound mock shocked. “Yes. Or so he thought. Bendolzians are capable of feeling intense pleasure during sex and seem to copulate often. Yet sex is a common social interaction for them. They use sex in greeting, departing, in establishing rapport. They have no sense of shame about it. And aside from a prohibition upon close familial members, to prevent genetic deformities, no hangs ups. They copulate. Frequently. Its why their population is so staggeringly large. There are 11 billion humans and 580 billion Bendolzian” “So they like sex, good for them...” “No Mr Robert. That’s not the point. You make the same mistake the XenoBiologists make. You see events but don’t think about what they mean...” Gupta is back leaning against his desk. It’s covered in papers, neatly arranged, held down with some kind of gold coloured paperweight; perfectly aligned pens; a small, but powerful computer to one side. Fadden however is focused utterly upon the Indian. “What this shows Mr Robert, is the Bendolzians do NOT have a heirarchy of desire.” Gupta smiles, “And I realised at that exact moment that they and we THINK differently. This is not exactly a original thing to realise. It obvious really. My gift was I saw exactly how we differed in thought- what process of human thought they did not have. It’s why they don’t use currency. Why their society is far more fluid socially. They simply appreciate the pleasure of sex or the beauty in an object because it is pleasurable or beautiful.” The Scotsman raises an eyebrow and says quietly, “So you mean...” “I mean that to a Bendolzian, the ten euro poster of the Mona Lisa is as valuable as the high grade copy, or even the original. They do not fixate upon the need for authenticity. A thing is a thing to them. If it is a beautiful painting? They appreciate the painting, even if it is merely a cheap copy to us.” Fadden watched as the India picked up the golden paperweight on his desk in an absent-minded manner. He then realised it wasn’t a golden paperweight at all, but an actual small ingot of gold, a few inches long, solid and set. Having it on the desk seemed like the kind of onsetentious display a billionaire liked to make. But he put it out of his mind. He had his exclusive. “So,” says the reporter, zeroing in on his story, “you realised this and then exploited this?” “I capitalised upon it. Bendolzians adore human culture yes? So I made a deal with them. I gained the exclusive rights to sell them human art. They love human art. Its alien but fascinating to them. I would sell copies of human paintings to them. To all of them. Any Beldozian now could own a small copy of any human painting. A simple high resolution copy. And they would pay me. Not much. But there are hundreds of billions of them. Micro transactions really do add up.” “Wait- that IS fraud. That’s the work of artists. You are using THEIR work to gain profit...” That smug grin returns. “I never used any art created by a living painter. In fact I don’t use any work less than 100 years old. That left me all the art work from antiquity to the start of the twentieth century. Billions of images. All in the public domain. A never ending supply really.” “What about the owners of these paintings? Or the museums? They hold the rights to these images, in terms of profit making...” The India smiles and begins walking back to the comfy chairs, the reporter following him as he spoke. “Two things Mr Robert- firstly, ALL human laws regarding licensing rights were written specifically to do with the gaining of currency and Bendoldzians do not use currency so they are technically inapplicable.” Sanjay Gupta sits down, his face wearing a Cheshire Cat grin, “Secondly- museums? Really? Did you ever read about how in the early 21st century there was a rash of ‘copyright farmers’? Legal firms who would purchase the rights to old songs and then go after anyone who used those songs in any media, demanding payment? Men who never had a damn thing to do with the writing, performing and recording of the song, but who bought the rights and made a fortune from them? Tell me, how are museums functionally different from those odious creatures?” “That’s a debate for the courts. I don’t think they would agree,” says the reporter sitting down opposite his target. “Perhaps. Perhaps not. But the cases never came to court. The great and the good spluttered at what I was doing in utter indignation and rage, unleashed a bevvy of criminal charges upon me, sought to demand I cut them into my deal. A shake down. They were outraged that I, solely, was profiting from the collective output of thousands of years of human art.” “Yes, agreed. Its not fair really...” The billionaire smiles as he stares into his reflection in the small gold ingot he casually toyed with in his hands. “Perhaps. But then? They dropped ALL the charges. Dropped everything. Retracted every single allegation. Can you guess why?” “You cut them in?” “Actually? I made a deal but not the one they wanted. I never gave them a penny. Which begs the question- why did they drop the allegations?” “It was the Bendolzians? They were getting art from you. They moved to protect you?” “Oh no Mr Robert. The answer is much more mundane and obvious. Think back along what I have told you during the interview. What is the one glaring inconsistency in my story. What part, when you think about it, doesn’t make sense? A single idea that doesn’t sit right?” Robert Fadden blinks and sits back. His mind ranges over the rambling discussion. None of it really made too much sense he supposed. A billionaire justifying his fraudulent method of getting rich. Still, it DID seem to have a consistency to it. Fadden mused. About sex, and art, and how humans think and how the aliens think, and about copies of art, and museums and lawsuits and fraud and... He blinks. “Wait. You said the Bendolzians PAID you. But Bendolzians don’t use currency. They never ‘pay’ anyone. They trade. Technology for art.” “Ah, you are very intelligent Mr.Robert. Yes they trade. A thing for a thing.” “They gave you technology?” “No. I have never displayed any advanced technological item have I? No, they did not give me any technology for this art.” “So what did they give you?” The Indian smiles and tosses across the small gold ingot casually at him, underarm. Fadden catches it, loses it, and hurriedly grabs it as it falls. He stares at the gold bar for a few seconds. “Gold?” “The heriarchy of desire Mr Robert. Question- why do we value gold?” “It’s precious.” “No, WHY? Why is it considered precious?” “It’s rare.” “Yes. All gold on Earth arrived here at a very specific time period in the planets history. The late heavy bombardment; the asteroids came they hit the thick crust and gold was deposited. But it isn’t much. Gold is a rare and precious commodity on Earth. This rarity makes it desirable. It moves up the heirarchy of desire.” “But the Bendolzians...” “The Bendolzians are a very advanced civilisation. They harvest plasma from their sun you know? This process provides fuel for their ships. There is, however, an annoying side effect in this process.” “Annoying side effect?” “What business did I begin in again Mr Robert?” Robert Fadden clings to the small gold ingot, but his eyes widen and in a horse Scottish whisper says, “Waste disposal...” “Well done Mr Fadden. Bendolzians harvest plasma from their sun and remove the many impurities they find there, including huge quantities of a useless, soft yellow metal, that they have no need for. Gold. I offered to dispose of it for them. In my eagerness however, I unfortunately mentioned it had a value to us humans. Otherwise they may have just given it to me for free. But I was able to fashion an arrangement. I give them art, they give me lots of this waste metal,” he smiles. “But... that... I mean...” “Question Mr Robert- can you imagine what would happen to human civilisation if it was revealed that the most precious metal, the actual bedrock of the global economy, was actually as common as sea water?” “It would... the price would...” “It would lose its place in the heriarchy of desire Mr Robert. It would no longer be a Mona Lisa, but a low quality postcard of it. The value would plummet.” “It would... it could... cause a global economic meltdown.” “Which is what the leaders of the world realised. So a deal was struck. They leave me alone and I keep this a secret. I was allowed enough gold to enter the market to make me richer than anyone else who has ever been and then? I sit on the rest. Occasionally I make secret transfers to the few governments who know. I have actually helped prevent a economic crisis or two. I get good rates.” “But that’s...” “Merely a function of the hierarchy of desire Mr Robert. Human beings are no longer alone in the universe. But we haven’t actually changed at all have we? We are still human.” He laughs, joyful and happy. He catches Robert’s shocked face and his grin seems to grow. “Of course, I need to keep this fact a secret, but I’m fine with that. Mostly.” The reporter feels a cold clammy sweat trickle down his back. He gazed at the gold bar in his hand, his mind awash with a thousand thoughts and then one thought stops his thinking dead. One single thought makes him slowly look up, look at his microphone and the recording device, and then look Sanjay Gupta dead in the eye. “Wait. You have to keep this secret. From everyone. Why are you confessing to me?” “Oh Mr Robert. I’m not confessing... I am BRAGGING. The only issue with having pulled this off, this brilliant manipulation of TWO species is, alas, I can’t tell anyone about it. It can be somewhat vexing.” He leans forwards eagerly, a cold glint in his eyes. “And so? Every so often, when the desire to gloat gets too much much for me? I invite a journalist who is sniffing around, and there are ALWAYS journalists sniffing around, to come meet me. And then I get to brag about this brilliant thing I have done. It is most refreshing and enjoyable to do so. You will be the fourth person I have told this too.” “What happened to the other three?” A shrug. “They are all dead. Oh, it wasn’t me who did it. All three left this Island as alive as when they arrived. But what can I say? All three knew a secret. And maybe they would have published the story. Or maybe they would have kept it to themselves. Who knows? But I ask you? What government can take that chance eh?” “They were killed?” “Maybe. They are all certainly dead. Which is odd don’t you think?” Robert Madden finds himself standing, moving towards the open windows, staring out onto the perfect Caribbean Sea. It’s blue waves gently undulate but the beauty of it is lost upon him. His mind races, considering possibilities and permutations. Behind him two security men enter the room quietly, and the Indian muses, “Of course we have to ask WHY human governments would think it better to dispose of the reporters like this. Where exactly DO trashy tabloid journalists fit on the hierarchy?” Fadden feels very cold. A Bond villain after all... “You can keep that, by the way,” says Gupta, and Robert is aware he is still holding the gold bar; he gazed at it as his host says, “it’s not like I would miss it.” Robert closes his eyes. He considers all he knows about the world, all he has learned about life and comes to one sudden, cold, reality. “I’m fucked,” he says openly, his Glaswegian accent becoming thicker as he gets upset. “Alas yes Mr Andrew. It would appear so. Now, these gentlemen will escort you to the boat.” Robert turns and sees his recording device on the table. Next to it sits Sanjay Gupta, smiling away and next to him stand two menacing gentlemen in well made suits. Twenty minutes later he gathers his wits. As he sits on the purple boat he realises he has one chance, just one chance... if he can upload the interview onto the web, he could maybe use it as leverage. His mind races through possible negotiations with mysterious government figures, his silence can be bought. But as he fumbles with his phone he spots something and a few minutes later a crew member explains “Mr Gupta apologises, but Bendolozian craft generate a field that prevents signal getting out. If you could wait until you reach the shore...” Robert Fadden’s mind races. He’ll upload the moment he gets to the marina, then go back to his hotel, if he has time, encrypt the recording, hide all trace, use its existence as a way to... But as the boat comes into view of its destination he sees them. A small handful of local police officers. Amidst them westerners. Tall ones. Casually dressed. Wearing sunglasses. Their faces all staring at the purple boat that glides into the marina... He hears his mother’s voice echo in his mind Don’t be having anything to do with dangerous men Bobby; Ya neva know what trouble it can land ya in.
Are India allowing reputation to dictate terms with regards to selection of some standby players?
So we know that India basically ended up playing their entire list of standby players in Australia due to injuries. Two players in particular in that list, Washington Sundar and T Natarajan, got Test caps despite not being anywhere in the red-ball picture and that was understandable. Because they were travelling from Dubai to Australia, it made sense to keep the LOI bowlers as 'net-bowlers' and standbys due to quarantine restrictions. What has, however, kind of puzzled me is the basis in which they've selected a few standby players/net bowlers for this England series. It does give one a feeling that they've opted for reputation over performance/results. Let's take the example of Rahul Chahar. He was picked as one of the 'standby players' (not even a net bowler) meaning he was directly in-line to get drafted into the squad. Incidentally Axar Patel got injured and he got drafted. But what was the basis of selecting him? In the 2019 Ranji Trophy, he just played 1 match. He did much better, of course, in the 2018 season, picking close to 40 wickets @ 25 but in the last two seasons there have been a ton of other spinners who have done exceptionally well. Aditya Sarwate, Satyajeet Bachchav, D Jadeja Jalaj Saxena etc have all been tearing the Ranji apart for 3-4 seasons (Saxena for an entire decade lol) yet their names are nowhere to be seen. Even if you look at the net bowlers, there was no place for Jaydev Unadkat, who last season had the best Ranji season by any Indian seamer in the competition's history. The selection of Axar Patel is curious too. Everyone sees him as a Jadeja-clone because he can bat and bowl left-arm spin, but someone like an Aditya Sarwate has been out-performing him with both bat and ball across the last couple of seasons. Axar, for instance, took 27 wickets @ 22.5 and averaged 25 with the bat in Ranji 2019, while Sarwate took 32 wickets @ 20 and averaged 23 with the bat. In the 2018 Ranji season, Sarwate took 55 wickets @ 19 and averaged 29.50 with the bat, while Axar averaged 13 with the bat and took just 9 wickets @ 34.00 My concern is - what message is it sending to the players busting their arse out in the domestic circuit if they are not even being considered as net bowlers? I understand there could be reasons for picking certain bowlers as net bowlers - to emulate the opponent, to bring variation etc - but this is not something new with Indian cricket. Plenty of Vidarbha, Saurashtra cricketers have spoken about not even being considered for India A selection despite consistent domestic performances. Are India allowing reputation to dictate terms?
Wolf vs Goat Fonzie Goes to India t-shirt Review and Fit
Background I wanted to do this review because, as a new customer to WvG, I had a hard time finding reviews and fit descriptions on a number of their products, but specifically the Fonzie Goes to India T-shirt. Because of this, I ended up taking a chance on my order fitting and meeting the expectations I had. Hopefully this review reduces the chance of a return or a potentially disappointed customer in the future. The Company Enough people here have covered Wolf vs Goat products before, so here’s the tl;dr: Mauro hand picks fabrics and materials, designs, and produces the clothing. He focuses on high quality basics, and using unique fabrics and materials to produce everything he sells. The general consensus from those here is that WvG offers a high-end product for a not so high-end cost. In other words, the value proposition you are getting here is better than a big name, high end brand selling something similar. Anyone can purchase clothing via the WvG website, but a $25 membership is available that reduces the cost of items and opens up access to pre-orders and more limited offerings. The Tee The Fonzie Goes to India is a 100%, 180gsm organic cotton tee. WvG describes it as a “true fitted unisex tee”. True to size, but slim fitting. It comes in a number of colours, including all your staples (Blue/Black/Grey/Navy). In addition to the staples, I purchased “Merlot”, which is, well, merlot-ish and happens to be the colour in the fit pics attached to this post. This particular product appealed to me because I was looking to replace a bunch of J Crew Mercantile (The outlet line) tee’s with something higher quality, better feeling, and that wouldn’t look as beat up after numerous wears. Also, J Crew isn’t doing all that hot so I suspected sooner or later I was going to be looking elsewhere anyways. Anyways, the measurements for the Fonzie Goes to India were about the same as my favourite J Crew tee, and they were in stock (Pistol lake, the other option I shopped, did not have any in stock. To their credit they did respond almost immediately when I asked about a restock date, it was just later than what I was hoping for). So I bought a bunch of tee’s from Mauro in the hopes that they would fit. The Fit and Feel Let me be clear up front: My experience with tee’s extends little beyond mall brands. J Crew, the Gap, Uniqlo, etc. These are what i’m familiar with. Comparing WvG to any of these was likely going to result in me being extremely impressed. This is the nicest tee I have ever worn, hands down. You can certainly tell by holding it up to, say, a J Crew Mercantile tee, that there is a drastic difference in quality. The thickness and weight of the cotton is the biggest one, but the fabric is also extremely soft right out of the bag it was shipped in. I can’t speak for whether or not these compare favourably to some of the more higher-end tee’s available as I haven’t had an opportunity to try them. I do have some Reigning Champ sweatshirts/sweatpants and they feel equally premium, if that makes any sense at all. I’m 6’0, 190lbs and a medium in virtually every article of clothing I have purchased since I was in highschool. Admittedly, I was concerned throughout the entire process the Fonzie Goes to India wasn’t going to fit based on the very few reviews I could find, and that I was going to be stuck with five tee shirts that I could at best use for layering. WvG provides a size chart online (and even a blog explaining how to measure yourself and your favourite tee shirt) that compared closely enough to my J Crew tee, and so I felt relatively comfortable completing my purchase. Specifically, the Fonzie Goes to India in a medium measures 19 ½ in across the chest, 27 ¾ in long, and 16 ¾ across the shoulders. I did also reach out to Mauro directly through the email provided on the WvG website, and he further clarified the Fonzie Goes to India is “very fitted”, and if that’s not what I was looking for there may be other options. Ultimately I was looking for something versatile that I could wear with shorts/jeans or as a layering piece, and that’s exactly what I received. The fit is very similar to the J Crew Mercantile tee, which is to say this is definitely a slimmer fitting t shirt. On me specifically, it hugs my shoulders (which are not particularly broad), chest and biceps, and drapes nicely down the rest of my upper body. Length-wise it hits a little below my waist, about 3/4ths of the way up the fly on my jeans. It’s not long enough to cover my torso if I lift my arms above my head, but that doesn’t bother me. Overall I can’t state enough that i’m really happy with the fit. If you’re looking for a slim fitting, high quality feeling tee, I imagine it would be difficult to do better if you’re about my size. Aesthetically, I’m not sure there’s much to elaborate on. The colours are sharp - there’s no fading or indications that the ink will wear easily - and there are quite a few to choose from. I compared the black to my J Crew tee which made me realize that my J Crew tee had faded quite a bit (to be fair, I have worn it excessively) so it will be interesting to see how these hold up after a number of wears and washes. The Merlot is my favourite out of the bunch as my complexion is pretty pale and burgundy’s let me add colour without washing myself out completely, and there’s a mustard colour available as well that I am now wishing I had purchased. The Cost I’m going to preface this section right away by admitting I am from, and had to ship to Canada. Because I live near a border, during non-COVID times I could simply ship to a service in the US, drive over, rip my packages open, put the items on (or in a gym bag, or on my wife, or an unsuspecting friend) and drive back. On an unrelated note, I could also go to Wegman’s at the same time, and buy a comically large sandwich, and bring that back too. I cannot do that right now (I still have sneakers sitting over there…). WvG is a small company, they charge in USD and I imagine that due to volume they pay more for shipping than J Crew, or the Gap, or some other multinational brand. We’re going to work backwards here: Shipping was not cheap. It was *almost* prohibitively expensive, and caused me to leave my cart two or three times before purchasing. Shipping from Alexandria, Virginia to the Greater Toronto Area was $42.22 USD ($10,000 CAD?), which did not include taxes or duties that I knew I would likely be paying as well. That was the cheapest of three options available to me, and was fulfilled by UPS (the other two options were USPS). As a comparison, I put five Henley's in a cart at Pistol Lake, which ships out of Los Angeles, and went through the checkout process to generate a shipping cost, which totaled $16.00USD, or just over a third of the cost. I’m not sure why such a huge discrepancy exists, but had Pistol Lake had their tee’s in stock, I would have purchased from them instead solely based on shipping costs. For what it’s worth, when I calculated the cost to ship to the warehouse in Western New York I alluded to earlier, the cost was $8.00 USD (Pistol Lake offers free shipping in the US for orders over $75). Duty was charged as expected and came to $23.70 CAD. There’s no way for anyone to get around this (unless you want to sneak your packages over the border by wearing them, not that anyone here is suggesting you try that…) so it’s whatever. The tee’s - and all WvG clothing for that matter - have a somewhat unique pricing structure. If you go to the WvG website right now and look up the Fonzie Goes to India they’ll advertise for $50.00 USD. I bought five of them, so my total *would* have been $250.000 USD (plus shipping...plus duties...etc.). But WvG offers a membership for a one-time fee of $25.00 USD which, in addition to providing you access to early access items, knocks 50% off the cost of whatever you’re buying. Not only is $25.00 a shirt much more palatable, it makes them cheaper than any other premium option I could find (Pistol Lake starts at $30.00 USD, Reigning Champ starts at $65.00 CAD). Even if I was buying one tee, the Membership would have been worth it, which I suspect is the point. Whether or not you’re a fan of this type of pricing model (and many people are not with good reason), there’s an argument to be made that I will be a repeat customer in part because I have that membership now. All said, the cost for five tee shirts shipped to Canada was as follows: Membership: $25.00 Five Tee’s: $125.00 Shipping (RIP): $42.22 Total: $192.22 USD Total After Very Sad CAD Conversion: $250.68 (and then the $23.70 in duty) So I ended up paying a little over $50 a tee all in, in my native funds. Because of the high shipping cost, I imagine had I purchased more, my cost per tee would have been marginally less. In non-COVID times I won’t have to worry about shipping at all, although for most other Canadians the drive across the border would not be worth the savings. If you’re in the US, you’ll pay slightly over $25 per tee depending on the quantity you purchase, which is pretty good for what you’re getting. Final Thoughts I’m not going to wrap up with a rating, or a tier list, or anything like that. Simply put, my experience with WvG was positive. The product meets the expectation set by others of “high-end” and the price, had I not had to remortgage my home to pay for shipping, would have been not so high-end as well. The cost/value prop is strong. The website provided enough information that I was comfortable making my purchase - although reviews or fit pics on the website would be a huge improvement, IMO - and Mauro was extremely responsive when I had questions. Most importantly, everything fit as expected. I would absolutely purchase tee’s from WvG again, and i’ll certainly be keeping an eye on the other products Mauro produces and sells in the future. Fit Pics: https://imgur.com/gallery/V8gbVNf
RoyalRoad Index Previous Next Zakabara Prime-Second Border One of the key principles to survival in space as a human military ship was to remain undetected. Unfortunately for Commandant Laurent, one of the key principles for deterrence is that you have to let the other side know that you're still there. Once in a while. Just to make sure they don't try anything too stupid. Today, their target of intimidation was a lightly armed Zakabaran destroyer stationed right at the established midpoint line between Prime and Second. The goal is to paint them as a target on radar, get close, say hi to their radio operator to let them know they were still there, and then get back into stealth as fast as possible. "We're coming up behind him, two hundred klicks," said Martin, her experienced pilot, "should we announce ourselves?" Laurent took a deep breath, then nodded, "attention, crew: battle stations!" There were only four other people in her highly automated destroyer, but it was still a good habit to remain disciplined and official in battle. She felt her ears pop and the unpleasant telltale signs of decompression as they drained the atmosphere out of the crew compartment into compressed reserves. The ship became much quieter, eclipsed by the sound of her breathing. Then, the acceleration kicked in as the ship fired the main thrusters to make itself a more difficult target in case they were shot at. "Switching on active radar." "We've detected a ship on radar!" shouted the nervous pilot of a Zakabaran Prime ship. "It must be the human invaders! Where are they? Find out where they are!" He scanned around on the radar screen, but he didn't see any ships, until… "HOSTILE SHIP TO OUR REAR! Turn and face it!" the commander ordered. "I have it in our sights, commander!" "What are you waiting for?! Shoot them!" "VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE!" shouted Martin, "missile launch detected from target ship! One hundred fifty klicks! Thirty-two seconds to intercept! Defending!" Laurent felt the ship shift vector and her blood chill. She had only faced this situation in simulators and practice before. It's one thing to chase down pirates from out of their range, and something else entirely to have a target that could shoot back. Then, reverting to the calm of her training, she queried, "can we go dark?" "Negative. We're getting painted by active radar," Martin replied, looking at his instruments, "and we don't have anything to hide behind them. Recommend we launch active kill countermeasures and maneuver between them and Second." "Do it. Launch all four." At her command, four small, agile missiles dropped away from the maneuvering ship, raced towards the incoming triangle on the tactical map for a precious ten seconds, and then… "Splash! The first one got it," Martin breathed a sigh of relief. Then, after a second, as he put the background radiation of Second behind them, "we've gone dark. I'm detonating the remaining countermeasures to prevent capture. Should we lock them with Fox Threes?" "No. They were probably just spooked," Laurent replied as she recalled the specifics from her orders, "let's avoid an interstellar war today if we can." "Understood." "Hm, those missiles," Martin said after a while, "so they can do that now." A team of engineers on Zakabara Prime looked intently at the slow motion telescopic silent footage of the human ship firing four missiles, one of which appeared to successfully engage and destroy the outgoing friendly missile. "Hm, those missiles," the lead engineer said after a while, "so they can do that now." Olgix After the fall of the Berlin Wall in the 1990s, McDonald's opened a franchise at the heart of the West's former foe. They planted the symbol of capitalism about one mile from Red Square in Moscow. Lines stretched around the block for months. Some highly optimistic political commentators started to believe in a rosy view of the future of human conflict. They proposed a tongue-in-cheek observation they called the McDonald's Theory of Peace: no two countries with McDonald's had nor will they ever fight a war against each other. The theory explains that McDonald's only enters and succeeds in markets where countries are stable and a large middle class is present. These countries tended not to fight against each other. Several counterexamples have been given. One prominent one is the rocky relationship between Pakistan and India, both of which had franchises of the fast food chain in their countries during numerous border skirmishes and limited wars. In any case, at least one thing McDonald's has never been known to do on Earth was to start a conflict. City of Lights Spaceport, Olgix The newly constructed concrete and steel building at the outskirts of the spaceport was the first of its kind, a monument to the fusion of human engineering and Olg laborers. Olgix had been sending its skilled laborers to Earth for a few years now. Some of those worked in construction in humanity's many new projects during the economic boom, and they were trained to work with human materials, logistics, and project management. When some of them returned to their homeworld, the central Olg government lavished them with credits and put them to work on new construction projects that tested their newly acquired skills. It not only had the basic utilities that the first offworld fast food restaurant on Gakrek did, it even boasted several new features. Central heating and cooling, fireproof insulation, and even several large windows that featured prominently in modern human architecture. It was a thing of beauty, and for Olgs, a point of pride. It represented the alien ideal that one day, they too might be able to develop their economies to resemble Earth's prosperity. Not to be outdone, the Gak refugee community nearby contracted a similar construction project. After all, they were the descendants of some of the richest and most skilled craftsbeings that were sent from Gakrek millennia ago. They solicited donations from their homeworld. Gaks, eager to impress the galaxy, sent money and expertise via their new traders. Their construction site was nearing completion when McDonald's came surveying sites for its first Olgix expansion. This competition for franchise sites led to some ugly fights and debate in the Olgix political sphere. Ethnic resentments that had been buried by the humans years ago were resurfacing. Today, it was another Gak protest in front of the Olg spaceport building. It started out peacefully. Then, some Gaks started throwing rotten fruit and tree branches at the government soldiers guarding it. Luckily for everyone involved, they decided to request help instead of taking matters into their own hands. The humans were called in. The Olgs requested a riot control squad from Constellar. Reese and his team responded. "This has been declared an illegal gathering," Reese yelled into the bullhorn, "please calmly return to your homes. We do not wish to use force." The crowd groused and shouted insults, but ultimately, they complied. The humans' weapons and big armored vehicles were scary, sure, but the human faces were what really convinced them to calm down. After all, everyone knew the humans were the good guys, even if they were protecting the Olgs here. The mob left. Then, a small band of Gaks returned two nights later, and smashed every window of the new building. "My human friends, we can't let the sneaky Gaks get away with this!" Reeptar begged. She was the local administrator of the spaceport, which made her the local representative of the Olgix government. Reese couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. The windows would be costly to replace. And it was so hard to say no to her, when she was giving him the puppy wolf eyes. But he said, "Reeptar, we've been over this. We will do our best to look for the culprits and bring them to justice, but we're not gonna just go and help you get some revenge on innocent random Gaks that probably don't have anything to do with this!" "How much would it cost to get you to change your mind?" she asked. Even before the introduction of credits, bribery was a common theme on Olgix. Here Reeptar was hoping that the only reason Reese and his team hadn't gone out to shoot up a Gak school was she hadn't offered them enough credits. "No, that's not it," Reese put on a kind, patient smile, "think about it, Reeptar. If we go and destroy something of theirs, they'll come back tomorrow and do it right back to you. What if they come back with one of their bombs?" "They won't!" she declared, "because then we'll just kill more of them." Reese tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. "That hasn't stopped them in the past, and you know it. It's not worth it to take that risk, is it?" She whined, and she pleaded. In the end, her irrational love for her precious building trumped her irrational hatred of the Gaks. He managed to extract a promise from her not to do anything stupid. XBC Studios, Earth "Welcome to Good Morning Galaxy. We have several good programs for you today, my fellow aliens," Zurim read on the teleprompter, "and our first guest today is one teddy bear from Gakrek. The famous Gubarak, Ambassador for the Gaks at the Galactic Union for four years! Everyone, give a hearty welcome to Gubarak!" "Thank you for coming on. How are you doing this morning, Ambassador?" Zurim asked. "Oh, good. So good. I had some sushi right before I came here, and I'm still feeling its buoying effects," he replied earnestly. The studio audience gave that a little chuckle. Gaks on Earth eating sushi for breakfast was a common meme. "Sushi for breakfast?" Zurim mocked outrage as he completed the joke, "now I wish I'd gone into government service instead of broadcasting." Cue some more laughter. The audience knew that Zurim was one of the richest Zeepils in the galaxy. He could get sushi any time. "Speaking of food, ambassador," Zurim turned serious, "how is the harvest on Gakrek looking this year?" "Amazing," Gubarak got down to business. This was his bread and butter. "Gakrek's agricultural industry continues to industrialize, and we expect our food production to grow to forty times its size as it had when we first met humanity." "Wow, really! Forty times?! That's fantastic news, really fantastic." Gubarak's entire job here was to advertise his planet as an attractive destination for investors, so he got to it. "And our service industry is growing. Our spaceport at Gophor? It recently opened its third business! A noodle shop this time. I highly recommend it if you ever visit!" "Gophor, eh?" Zurim asked, "is that the one with the first McDonald's-" "The very one," Gubarak beamed. Time to drop some names. "I visited Ms. Rey Crawley when all these shops opened, and she said she expected dozens of similar restaurants to pop up in Gophor within two years!" "Wow. Speaking of McDonald's, what do you think about this little expansion they got going on Olgix?" "Our community on Olgix is filled with skilled and talented workers," Gubarak replied, looking straight into the TV camera, "and we expect that we will have no problems getting McDonald's to pick our location as a first franchise instead of the spaceport, which we all know is in a rather unstable location. Last I heard, a band of criminals stormed their building at night and broke all their windows. If they can't even take care of their own security…" City of Lights Spaceport, Olgix "And so you had your soldiers sneak in and destroy their interior scaffolding?!" Reese asked as if he couldn't believe she'd done this. The problem was, he had no problems actually believing it. She was as vindictive as she was deceitful. In this case though, she didn't even bother lying. "Yup. It wasn't that hard. There wasn't anyone at the Gak community center because they all went home for the weekend," Reeptar replied gleefully. "My pack just cut them down with a saw they left lying around. Just as a little warning to them." "Now you're gonna need to beef up security at your own restaurant, and it's a never-ending escalation that'll cost you more money! I thought we went over this!" Reese felt like punting her through the door. "That was before their ambassador went on Zurim to insult our building," she replied smugly, "and look who has security issues now!" "Okay, we're going to fix this," Reese calmed down and decided, "you're going to go to the Gaks and apologize. Say you made a mistake. And then pay to fix their scaffolding." "What? No!" Reeptar was appalled. Why were humans always so annoying? It was just some cheap wooden platform. "That defeats the point of destroying them in the first place." Sensing no way to reason her out of it, he went for threats. "Reeptar, you're going to do as I say, or I'm going to call Constellar headquarters and recommend that we pull out of here. And then maybe we go over to the Gaks and ask them whether they need some security services." "You can't do that! We have a contract!" she almost started crying. The idea of her limited number of soldiers facing down the inevitable mob of local Gaks that would come at her if Reese and his men left was honestly frightening to her. "Our contract specifically states that you have to do as we ask in terms of security concerns. This is one of those. Now, go be a good neighbor and offer to fix what you broke." Reeptar reluctantly did as Reese asked. She went over, apologized to the manager of the Gak community center, and offered to pay expenses for replacing the scaffolding they destroyed. It was humiliating, but at least the Gak didn't rub it in. He graciously accepted the offer for a few credits to fix the damage, and promised they would do their best to help find the criminals that destroyed the Olgs' windows. He didn't want war either. Gakrek's Avengers Underground Meeting "They paid for the damages," Gripon reported, "and apologized for it. It sounded sincere to me." They were meeting at an abandoned warehouse right next to the community center and the new construction building that was shaping up nicely. Grouchik was not convinced. Many in her family back on Gakrek had died during the famine, and she blamed the Olgs. "They shouldn't have done it in the first place. And Reeptar only did it because that human made her do it." "That's a good thing," Gripon moderated, "it means they can learn. The humans are having a good influence on them." "Whatever. We're not stopping what we're doing," Grouchik insisted, "they can't be allowed to get the bid for the franchise. We should really be striking at the spaceport authorities to show that their building isn't safe." "Don't go out and do anything stupid, Grouchik," he cautioned. "Windows are one thing, but we don't want to be responsible for breaking the truce." Yeah, yeah, she thought, you only care about your precious peace and your silly building. Grouchik was sane enough to know that very few creatures wanted war, despite the undercurrent of resentment for each other. With that human leader next to the Olg teaching her how to manage the situation, Grouchik would never get the revenge she wanted. He must go. City of Lights Spaceport, Olgix "Wow, this is all very impressive," Isabella complimented. She was telling the truth too. This was the first offworld chain she'd seen using all the modern building techniques that Earth restaurants took for granted. "Thank you," Reeptar grinned, "our people are very proud of this construction. You'll have no problems finding new customers among them!" "I'm sure," Isabella said. Then she glanced over at the workers mounting new glass windows onto the frames. "I heard what happened with the Gaks a few weeks ago. My sympathies for your losses. Are there any new developments in the situation?" "No," Reeptar replied, "the Gaks can't find the criminals that did this." Then she added petulantly, "or maybe they don't want to." "Well, we'll certainly consider this deal seriously," Isabella said cautiously, "but we'll have to factor in the insurance costs and everything. And we're here to look at alternate sites as well. After all, we want to make sure our first launch here goes smoothly." City of Lights Gak Community Center, Olgix "This is fantastic!" Isabella praised. It was getting hard to tell which site was better. They had similarly modern specifications. The Gak site was cheaper, but the spaceport site would have some more foot traffic from the flights, even if they will get less business from the locals. "Yes, Gaks worked very hard on this," Gripon replied with a large smile. "This is a way better site to open a restaurant than the ugly spaceport, and we have good security." "That is one thing we are concerned about," Isabella added, "security. If there's another attack here on Olgix, it could wipe out several months to years of profits on a single day." "Of course, of course," Gripon assured, "we've come to an agreement with Reeptar and the spaceport authorities. We both only want the best for our people." Isabella wasn't sure what exactly this meant, so she was still skeptical. Seeing her expression, Gripon added, "and we're in negotiations with the Olgs so they can visit the community center too. That will surely add to the number of customers you will get every day!" "Honestly, both lots are equally good. My intuition says whichever we pick is going to be wildly successful," Isabella reported to her manager. "The Olg site could be a slightly more lucrative deal at 140,000 a month. Or we could go for the lower risk 30,000 for the Gak site." "That is pretty hard to decide," he said, "what about the security situation?" "It seems… in flux," she replied, "they both assured me that there was nothing untoward happening, and they have a deal. But there's always the risk that the one we don't pick is gonna renege on it and decide to take it out on our store." "That's not ideal." "Yeah, but the risk can't be that great, right? The insurance company thinks that the threat of conflict on Olgix is overrated," she frowned, "which is weird of them considering they never give up an opportunity to overcharge us." Her manager chuckled, "they've been overrating too many threats offworld, and the regulatory agencies are coming down on them hard. They're just using this as an opportunity to lower their apparent margins. We probably shouldn't trust those ratings too much." "Alright, what do I tell Olgix?" Isabela asked, waiting for a final decision. "You said it was 140,000 and 30,000, right?" he asked. "Right, that's what we got them down to," she said, "either of them will still probably be making a chunk of profit off it almost right away." "We can double down. The prices aren't that much for a first expansion onto a new planet. Can you go ask them whether they'd agree to do both sites and give us a discount?" "Both sites?" she asked. "Isn't that a bit redundant?" "From what I can tell, it appears that the Gak site is gonna be majority Gak customers, and the Olg site will be mostly traders and Olgs, so the overlap seems minimal. Besides, not to play politics here, but the security benefit of both sides not shooting at each other's store is gotta be worth something here." "Sure, I'll ask them. The least they can do is say no." City of Lights Spaceport, Olgix Isabella asked them both to meet her at the hangar where she was storing her ship. Technically, this was not neutral territory, being on the spaceport. But these two species were just going to have to learn to ignore those kinds of symbolic concerns if they were going into business. "What?!" they both exclaimed simultaneously when she made them the offer. She wanted both spaces for 5,000 a month less than they were asking, so she was essentially asking them both to give up some profits so the other could get cut in on the deal. "Both sites?" Reeptar barked. Her angry wolf-like face looked almost like a husky pup, Isabella thought. "Why are you also putting a franchise on the stupid Gak site?" "But the whole point of us making a bid was so the Olgs don't get it!" Gripon complained. Isabella sighed. This was going to be a hard sell. The unfortunate reality was that one of the reasons that both these creatures wanted to be picked over the other was simple ethnic pride. Given that they were almost willing to burn each other down a few weeks ago, it was probably an even bigger sticking point than the discount. Which is why it was even more important that she got both sites, or she got none. If there was a loser here, there would be no winners. This was some kind of convoluted variation of a prisoner's dilemma, she thought. Heading off the argument, she said firmly, "we've decided that both of your sites are wonderful. We'd only rent either one if we also got the other." Reeptar challenged, "if you put a restaurant on both our sites, they would steal customers away from each other." That's an apt description of the problem, Isabella thought. These aliens were definitely not stupid. Just irrational. "Yes, we've thought of that as well. We think that the cannibalism would be minimal, and there is a big enough market in the City of Lights to support both." "We are willing to go down to 25,000 under some conditions," Gripon cautioned, "but my people will not like that we're doing it so the Olgs get their restaurant too." "It's not like we're thrilled that you guys get to leech off our people," Reeptar snapped back at him, "you Gaks already have your own McDonald's restaurants back on your homeworld, and you still want to come here and steal ours!" "Look, guys!" Isabella stopped them before this devolved into an uglier argument. "You will both make a significant profit off this deal. Your people will get new jobs and new customers. And your economies will both grow tremendously, like other planets and communities have! "Besides, aren't you both tired of throwing good credits down the drain for a rivalry that we all know leads nowhere good for either of you? Talk amongst yourselves and come back to me when you decide to be adults." Second & Main Street Intersection, City of Lights Grouchik laid prone on the second-story balcony as she watched the convoy coming down the street. It was some sales representative from Earth who was visiting the spaceport. She was personally more interested in the man in the lead vehicle, the one who kept ruining all her plans. She didn't get approval from Gripon for an attack like this. When she told a Zakabaran trader from some faraway planet her problem, the trader had come back a few days later with a few bags of explosives and a remote detonator. The trader even gave her a big discount, which was weirdly generous of him, but she didn't question it. Grouchik had waited until it was dark to dig a small hole in the street and hide the bags. Given the poor state of the roads, she reasonably assumed that it wouldn't be found. She fingered the detonator and thought of her dead family as the humans drove right up to where she'd place it. Death to the Olgs and their collaborators, Grouchik thought. She triggered the detonator. Humanity had been fighting industrial-scale warfare for as long as they had industry. The mass production of most of the goods involved in the manufacturing of an improvised explosive device were cheaply available on Earth. Constellar mercenaries, many of whom had gotten their start with combat roles in the sandbox against experienced practitioners of guerilla warfare, were intimately familiar with these devices. That's why there was a Duke Counter-IED Electronic Warfare jammer mounted on every single one of their armored cars. Reese's heart skipped a beat as the module made a loud "bzzzt" sound to indicate that someone had attempted to detonate a device near their vehicle. "We've got movement, three o'clock, second-floor balcony," the remote gunner called out as he swiveled his turret in that direction. Another bzzzt. He made a split second decision, and called into the radio, "driver! Get us and the VIP out of here! Echo squad, go check out that building!" Grouchik was confused when the explosive didn't go off. She pressed the trigger again. Still nothing. The bird must have sold me a bad device! Too bad. I'll have to go get another one and try for another time, she thought as she got back up into the building. As she started packing her equipment, she heard boots thundering up the stairs. Grabbing her rifle, she aimed it at the door fearfully. Something smashed the door open. Grouchik readied herself for a last stand, waiting to light up the collaborators coming through the door any moment now. I'll get at least one or two of them, she thought. Not as good as getting their leader, but she wasn't going to die with regret. Then her ears experienced the loudest bang she'd ever heard in her life, and the brightness of ten thousand suns exploded into her vision. Painfully deafened and blinded, Grouchik screamed and covered her eyes, dropping her weapon. She felt herself being tackled into the ground by something heavy and lost consciousness. Outside Galactic Union Headquarters "Ambassador Gubarak, can you comment on the three-way deal your people have agreed to with the Olgs in the City of Lights?" "Did you have a hand in crafting what pundits are now calling Fast Food Diplomacy?" A crowd of reporters had swarmed him as he left the building, all shoving their microphones and cameras into his face. "Ahem. I have a statement." "The fates of the people of Olgix and Gakrek have been tied for as long as our species have seen each other across the stars. Last night's three-way deal with the City of Lights Spaceport and McDonald's is simply a recognition of that reality. Our communities on Olgix are grateful for the opportunity to show the galaxy our growing skills and hospitality. While we believe that of the two franchises, ours will see bigger profits, this deal is in the best interests of both our peoples." He continued. "Furthermore, Ambassador Luperca and I have agreed to gradually begin the process of opening up Gak communities on Olgix to their people. As long as their intentions are peaceful, we are not opposed on principle to welcome them into our businesses and even our families…" Galactic Union HQ "The missile incident from last night must never happen again," Amanda said strictly to the face of the parrot on her screen, "you were lucky that our ships chose not to shoot back." "We have a right to defend our space! This is in the charter of your Galactic Union!" Popptaw said indignantly. She hadn't ordered the ships to fire, but she was still going to defend their mistake to the death anyway. "The invasion of the Zakabaran system shows the galaxy what hypocrites your people are!" "It's your Galactic Union too," Amanda replied, then added, "and our ships were invited by the citizens of Second, which is recognized as a separate planet under our charter." "They're our people, whether they realize it or not," the parrot insisted, "and we have the right to stop your people from flooding our spaceports with your cheap goods. Haven't you hurt our people enough?" "Isn't it true that Zakabara Prime has increased its production output and total credits volume every year since humanity's entry to the galaxy?" Amanda asked, trying a different line of persuasion. "Our people are working hard! We've invested heavily into developing our economy so we can compete with everyone else!" Popptaw said, apparently not getting the actual point, "we intend to get our fair share of the pie!" This was going nowhere, Amanda realized, with a species, or maybe just its headstrong leader, that can't see the interaction between sentient beings as anything more than a fixed sum game designed to extract as many resources out of others as efficiently as possible. "Popptaw, you are getting your fair share. We've allowed you to close down the spaceports on your planet despite the sensible experts' recommendation not to, but that doesn't mean Second has to. This is your final warning: we will not allow you to subjugate the people of another plane-" "OUR planets!" Popptaw looked like her eyes were going to bulge out of their sockets, and chirped angrily, "we will decide what to do with our own people! You can't bully us out of our cultural heritage! And other species will not stand for it either, human, you can't fight all of us at once no matter how many credits you have in your account!" Hanging up, Amanda saw the work of years, the dreams of a united and peaceful galaxy, teetering in the balance because of one lunatic leader's inability to see sense. She picked up the phone. "Get me Senator Hawthorne again." List of wars/conflicts that have been fought between states with McDonald's: US-Panama invasion, India-Pakistan border conflicts, NATO bombing of Yugoslavia, Israel-Hezbollah War in Lebanon, Russia-Georgia, Russia-Ukraine. At the time of the US invasion of Iraq in 2003, Iraq had a blatant rip off of the fast food chain called MaDonal, which sells hamburgers they call Big Macks. It remains in business today. There is also an authorized McDonald's franchise in the Baghdad Green Zone. RoyalRoad Index Previous Next
🚨🚨NOKle HEADS ITS GENERAL CHEESE WITH THE UPDATE. GET IN THE BRIEFING ROOM. WE NEED TO DISCUSS. 🚨🚨
(Reposting here because WSB is going hard in the paint when it comes to moderating posts right now) RING RING 📞📞 Pick up goddamn it. It’s general cheese here. 👋 Yeah what’s up bitches you may probably remember me from the NOK discussion post I made yesterday Anyways, there’s a lot of talk that posts like my last post is stock manipulation. Anyways I’m not a financial advisor, I JUST REALLY LIKE THE FUCKING STOCK. And of course, I said that I’d post a DD/Discussion thread today. And it’s going to be a long ass read so buckle the fuck up and put some eye drops in your eyes because here we go. 🥴🚀🔥🔥 —If you are a pussyfooting paper handed bitch then you should probably stop reading at this point— We are at war. Here’s the map You see that shit? Make sure you look at the times of arrival. We are prepped and ready for deployment with AMC and BB. We might be 10 minutes late to the game in comparison, but we’ll get there and we’ll get the job done and we will fuck shit up. Not only that but fucking BlackRock inc is the largest share holder of Nokia at 5.6% and they bought a shit ton more shares a couple days ago. If that’s not a big fucking sign then I don’t know what the hell is. ALSO, if that’s not enough for you, ERIC just beat the the ever living shit out of it’s earnings. ERIC also produces 5G tech like NOK and in the US NOK is practically the only one in the 5G game. They’re one of, if not, the best company to invest in for data transfer systems. You know how you’re reading this, right? You also know how you jack off to porn every night? That’s data transfer. I’m also seeing a lot of you doubting the ever living fuck out of NOK. How about we look at the facts, punks? Last Wednesday the stock hit a record volume of shares traded at 1 BILLION. You need to understand that the moon is fucking possible with this stock. It may not be Monday but it WILL come in the next two weeks. Mark my fucking words. Save the post. “Oh General Cheese, I’m so scared there’s so much old money in this stock just begging to bring the price down.” 😱😱😱😰😰😰 Yes, but what is an enemy without bullets? 🔫 What’s a few couple billionaires to a superstar group of smooth brained retards in the millions with dreams of grandeur? 🚀🚀🚀What’s an enemy to people who don’t even know what they’re doing? 🥴💫Chaos brings fear. Billionaires hate chaos except when they jack off to their own market manipulation sitting in their luxury condos having fucking grapes fed to them by their own children. Gear up boys. Earnings will be the most important day this stock will have ever seen for the past couple decades. That’s when the most shots will be fired. Fuck the short ladders, fuck the sellers. It’s their fault they hate money. As for all of us, we are in it for the long term play. I don’t pretend that this is the next GME because it isn’t. But, this stock deserves to show the world its true value. And it’s hella far from what it is by tenfold. And the bet is still on. If if this fucking stock hits $50 by EOY I will literally eat my own shit in the most crowded park in LA. I will literally buy a fucking gold plate from Dubai or where ever you fucking get those things and sterling silver cutlery. That’s how fucking serious and retarded I am. Anyways. This is the move. No attack on any enemy is done with a single weapon and only one strategic play. It is carried out through a series of cascading effects and in this case, Wall Street, Robinhood, Melvin, etc. is the enemy. A ton of retards buying and holding BANG stocks is the ultimate goal. Everyone is expecting GME. Everyone is cheering on GME. Everyone is sucking off GME. In a battle you create a diversion so that reinforcements can come in from the sides and decimate the enemy. This is what we call a “flank”. AMC and BB are ready to attack from the left. I NEED TO KNOW WHETHER YOU FUCKING NOKle HEADS ARE READY TO ATTACK FROM THE RIGHT. Well? Are you? Hold your positions. Grab your fucking cash because that is a weapon and you buy. “But general 😰🥵😱 how the hell are we supposed to get NOK when RH is blocking our engagement on the enemy?” Okay you shellshocked paper handed bitch, this is how we do it. How do gaslit whores try and make money on tinder? CASHAPP. Who doesn’t set a limit on how many NOK shares you can buy? Coincidentally, CASHAPP. And how do we get past the defenses while we venture into the jaws of death on Monday? This is the run down. Look at your PRICE BY VOLUME CHART on your trading app or whatever the fuck your broker uses and you BUY AT THE ASKING PRICE. For every time you buy NOK at the asking price rather then being a pussyfoot and buying and market price, this is like a grenade to the walls that a stock can generate in terms of its price. RH has it if you have hold but who the fuck uses that? I’m just using that as an example. So, in conclusion, hold the ever living shit out of NOK, hold the line, and ENGAGE. 🪄🚀💫🌙 🔫🔫🔫 Use Cashapp to get shares, or whatever brokerage you can use to get some. Cashapp is just for the wagecucks. And if you don’t have any money because you’re a wagecuck, you’re going to at least have a pistol going in. (you need weapons for a battle you retard) then use the official NOK password ( BKXDNGQ ) when you sign up and get like 2 shares or something. That’s the only way that I can personally help you in these dark times. But the light at the end of the tunnel won’t be too far away, retards. But you have to hold. You have to believe. And if that’s not enough for you, here’s a list of reasons to buy the shit out of NOK
Most essential 5G patents in the world
Fastest 5G speeds recorded
Controls over 27% of the 4/5G market
First company contracted to set up internet on the moon (NASA)
Will receive MULTI-BILLION dollar settlements from ongoing litigations with Mercedes Benz and Lenovo
Technology provider and main collaborator of the National Security Center of Excellence 5G Cybersecurity Project (Federal 5G project)
Selected to be the main collaborator of the Hexa 6G European Union Project
Has pending Department of Defense contracts yet to awarded
Just sealed a contract with TMOBILE for US 5G roll out.
Has and will take market share from Huawei, already has secured multi-year deals with important Chinese companies
Blackrock increased their position to 333,000,000 shares during 2020, an increase of 21 million shares held from the year before (7% increase)
May also be getting back into the phone business as they are manufacturing phones in India
Vanguard Capital owns 160,000,000 shares and is continuously buying
Google Cloud announced a partnership with $NOK to Accelerate Cloud-Native 5G Readiness for Communications Providers
NOK FOR LYFE 💫💫🚀🚀🔥🔥 Edit: WSB mods are trying to keep my silver, sexy, well spoken tongue out of their sub. Maybe I’m too powerful. I never linked a knockoff sub so they can fuck themselves. Just the mods. https://imgur.com/gallery/yf1xniy Signed,
On a post about an ad during super bowl in world news, a comment explaining why we need farm laws was deleted, the comment was among the top 5 and had received several awards.
Here's the comment. Fucking shill mods, deleted the most nuanced intelligent, informed comment about this entire protest. Reposting the entire comment below (sources and links are lost unfortunately) (full credit to u/MysterSisterFister ): Since this issue has been gaining some attention world over, I'm gonna piggyback on this thread to try and provide some context on the recently passed laws themselves and their implications that have triggered these protests around the national capital Delhi. In India, selling agriculture produce is hard. You can’t sell this stuff to end consumers directly. Instead, you’re expected to sell the produce in your designated “market area”/Mandi. The mandis, in turn, are regulated by the Agricultural Produce Market Committees (APMC) comprising of local farmers, government representatives, and agri-commodity traders. As a farmer, once you make your way to the Mandi (regulated market), you get in touch with an agent, who helps you clean, sort, and organise your produce. He then takes the end product to the auctioneer who puts it on display. Interested buyers gather on the market platform and start bidding. The highest bidder will eventually take home your output and the agent will help you settle the transaction with the prospective buyer. You walk away with what you get, but not before you pay your agent his commission. Ideally, this ought to be a fair transaction. At least considering we have a free and fair auction. But that’s not entirely true. You see, most auctions are rigged. Traders who are responsible for the buying collude. Instead of competing against one another, they work together and artificially deflate prices by bidding low. Now, the collusion works only until the select group of traders can keep co-operating. And to this end, APMCs that issue new licenses (to traders) do their best to keep the club exclusive. Meaning corruption is rife. At the end of it all, traders walk away with the king’s ransom and farmers are routinely short-changed. It’s a terrible travesty. In fact, by some accounts, farmers only get paid 20–25% of the end consumer price. But it doesn’t have to be so bad. Think of it this way. Farmers have little choice of picking their Mandis since its illegal for them (in most states) to sell their produce outside of these market areas. Once they get to the mandi they get “one quote” since the traders collude. In essence, the system only has one buyer. Economists call this a monopsonistic marketplace — where the price is determined by a single buyer. And there’s no way you can get a fair quote when you’re operating in such unfavourable conditions. In fact, efficient price realisation can only happen when there’s unfettered competition. So if you allow farmers to simply choose who they could sell to and foster competition (on the buying side), maybe they can get a fair price. And that’s what the government seems to want to do. It wants to open up the market and give farmers more choices. It wants to limit intermediaries and boost farmers' incomes. It wants to fundamentally change the way Agri commodities are marketed in India and it wants to do it now. Fun fact: Agriculture employs roughly 60% of India's population and is still one of the smallest contributors to the country's GDP. Now obviously this poses some very interesting challenges. For starters, laws on this subject (on marketing and selling agriculture produce) are framed and enforced by state governments. So if the state governments don’t comply, APMCs might still have some influence. What we do know for certain, however, is that when farm produce moves between state borders, central laws will automatically kick in. So farmers will likely be able to sell their produce outside their own states and have a plethora of choice, no matter what. And once this happens, state APMCs will have to buck up. They’ll have to play fair to compete with entities outside. Ergo, farmers will be the ultimate beneficiaries. The final concern is about free-market forces — those greedy corporates who try to use their size, scale, and bargaining power to browbeat small-time farmers. And sure, this could be problematic. But the thing is, big corporates like ITC and Adani are unlikely to deal with farmers individually. As the agricultural economist Ashok Gulati notes — “They [big corporates] need scale and to create scale you create an aggregation point and that is through farmer producer organisations (FPOs).” Meaning if farmers come together and form these small entities taking full ownership of their produce, they'll be able to solve the "scale problem" and bargain with large corporates on a more equal footing. Many states in India are already successfully deploying this model. Indian Agriculture (on an aggregate level) has been unprofitable for a good while now. Monsoons are erratic. Irrigation infrastructure still needs work. Warehousing and storage problems still persist. The middlemen skim most of the profit and many farmers work with land parcels so tiny that they can almost never leverage benefits of scale. Meaning we have a small proportion of landowners who run an extremely profitable enterprise while a good chunk of the agrarian population (20%) still live below the poverty line. The point is — there’s been very little incentive for people to continue and work the farmland. And as a consequence, many people migrate from (rural) hinterlands to urban centres en masse. So the finance minister announced that the government will now offer 30,000 crores worth of working capital loans to help farmers kickstart preparatory work for kharif and post-harvest rabi season. Farmers will also be able to borrow up to 2 lakh crores from banks at concessional rates in the near future. And yes, I know, it’s not free money. But it’s still something. All things in mind, I believe these new laws (while having very clear flaws that need amendments) have a potential to do far more good than farm, imho. Happy to engage with anyone on this as long as it comes without name-calling and unnecessary insults. Cheers! P.S. I have not produced this content myself. Source 1 Source 2
The two biggest achievements of the Modi government according to MOTN poll - Ram mandir and Article 370
The two biggest achievements of the Modi government according to those surveyed in the MOTN poll are the Supreme Court's decision paving the way for the construction of the Ram temple in Ayodhya and the revocation of Article 370 in Kashmir, both of which have been on the must-do list of the Sangh Parivar. The government's handling of Covid-19 is on third place in this line-up, with the rest of the Modi government's initiatives, such as Make in India or the Aatmanirbhar Bharat Abhiyaan, getting less than 10 per cent support.
link I see a lot of discussion on reddit about why BJP wins elections and a lot of people try to deny that it is their communal agenda that is winning them votes. The Mood of the Nation poll kind of puts that argument to rest IMO. Modi, much like Trump, came to power on the basis of minority hate and majoritian chauvinism. Which is why voters are ready to put up with high petrol prices in the times of global price slumps, why people are ready to put up with notebans that destroyed gdp, and so on. I'll leave y'all with a quote. “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.” — Lyndon B. Johnson Inb4: Olympic level mental gymnastics
Taking up a traditional musical instrument to play sea shanties and sea songs (for total novices or experienced musicians)
What with the current fascination with sea shanties and sea songs, I figured that some folks might be interested in trying out the musical instruments of Western sailors of the 1800s and early 1900s. While a classic shanty tended to be sung just with vocals, sailors played a variety of musical instruments popular in their eras, and in the Folk Revivals of the mid 1900s, lots of musicians did fine work adding instrumentation to the old tunes. Maybe you’re an experienced musician looking to try a new sound after discovering sea songs, or maybe you’ve never played a note and hearing these great old tunes has inspired you to learn. In whatever case, in this little write-up I’m going to lay out some of the traditional instruments of the era which were favored by sailors, and explain for each how affordable and easy to learn they can be, and link you in some examples to listen to and places to learn more about each instrument. I’m not a PhD musicologist, but I do have a lot of research background, been playing traditional music for over 30 years, and have a general handle on the scene and the era. And I have for over a decade done little projects online to encourage people to push their boundaries and break away from the mainstream by trying musical instruments beyond the most common ones. Being entranced by a new genre of music is a fine time to further expand your horizons by taking up an instrument and making music yourself.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
WINDS * Tinwhistle * Flute (and piccolo and fife) * Trumpet STRINGS * Guitar * Banjo (and banjo ukulele) * Fiddle * Mandolin * Ukulele FREE REEDS * Harmonica * Concertina * Melodeon/Button Accordion * (Toy Accordion/Melodeon) PERCUSSION * Drums * (Bodhrán) NOT TRADITIONAL SAILOR INSTRUMENTS, BUT WOULD SOUND AWESOME WITH SHANTIES * Appalachian/Mountain dulcimer * Udu or Ibo drum * Bagpipe * Electronic Instruments I will note before we begin, especially in the budget category, there are some real bargains but plenty of junk, so please use this article as a starting point, but read up a little on best buys. Don’t just say “oh, I dig Irish flute, and I see a new one on eBay for $50, sounds like a bargain!” and buy it without doing a little research, or you’ll get stuck wasting time and money on unplayable junk. All the more so for used instruments, which can offer great savings, but you really want to buy from a reputable dealer or a musician, or have an ironclad strategy for DIY repair, lest you get something too out of whack to learn on and too pricey to repair. Plenty of bargains, just don’t get impulsive, do just a little research before each purchase and you’ll be glad you did. There are online communities full of geeks like me for each of these instruments, who'd be happy to chat with you about choosing a good one for your money, and how you can best learn to play. We’re looking largely at the instruments of seafaring European (and diaspora) folk of the 1800s and early 1900s, which you can note largely resembled the instruments of the working class on land, farmers and city laborers, just with an eye towards durability and portability at sea. Fortunately, many of these instruments are relatively affordable, intuitive to learn (they had to be, to catch on with a largely illiterate population that just wanted to get to playing music without fuss), and often rugged and compact for travel. I realized after I finished this article that all these instruments can be learned by ear and video without formal written study, and (with the exception of fiddle) beginner tutorials for them are written in “tablature” (numbers that say where your fingers go) rather than sheet music, making them even easier to learn for total novices. WINDS Wind instruments had the huge advantage of being relatively compact, simple, and affordable, and some of them had a dual purpose for signaling or for military music, or just being heard above the noise of work and waves to keep a rhythm for work or dancing. Tinwhistle A tinwhistle is a small metal pipe with six finger-holes, and a whistle-like mouthpiece that directs the breath onto a sharp edge that produces the note. Like a referee’s whistle but with control of the notes. The great thing about tinwhistle is you can get a totally serviceable instrument for literally $9 or so; they’re just that cheap to make. There are professional Irish musicians who spend decades playing $9 whistles (often doing a little fine-tuning on their own to smooth them out), so they’re by no means just toys. Even if you aren’t in a hurry to learn, honestly at that price you might as well pick one up next time you’re shopping online, and give it a whirl. An instrument you could own for life for the price of a decent 6-pack. The subreddit tinwhistle can provide advice and resources, and off-Reddit there’s the specialized Chiff and Fipple Forum. If you buy a tinwhistle as a beginner, absolutely get one in the Key of D (the most common key), because 99% of teaching materials are for D, the common key for Irish music. (You'll notice an Irish crossover trend in much of this advice). There are some tutorials for shanties online, but honestly best bet would be to use some of the tutorials for Irish tunes just to learn the basics, and then you’ll swiftly be able to transition to learning other genres by ear. "Drunken Sailor" tinwhistle duet with concertina Flute (including piccolo and fife) The flute is of course a tube where you blow across a hole to make a note. Most of us have seen the classical flute in videos, silver with all those fancy mechanical keys, but the flutes of the 1800s were largely wooden and had few or no keys, just open finger-holes like the tinwhistle. In the modern day, such “simple flutes” are largely associated with folk music, especially Irish, so there are plenty on the market, including affordable ones made of synthetic materials or metals. Just don't be seduced by import "rosewood" cheapies, they're junk, one made of PVC pipe by an actual musician would be a better buy than those wall-hangers. I made a post on Chiff and Fipple asking about affordable flutes and fifes, and got some good options under $50 for some really simple plastic tube instruments of decent make, and some finer Irish flutes turned from synthetics around $250. Flutes come in a variety of sizes, but like tinwhistles the easiest way to learn is using Irish music tutorials and then adding nautical repertoire once you have the basics down, so again probably get Key of D. You can get a Low D flute about 2 feet long, or a High D flute (known as a fife or piccolo, or band flute) an octave above, the same rough size and pitch as a tinwhistle, just different method of blowing. The Low D instruments are pretty similar to each other, but for High D ("fife/piccolo/band flute") note some are "true fifes" made to play best at very high pitches for fife and drum music, others are meant to play smoothly at their lowest register, identical in range to a tinwhistle. So mind that distinction and ask the experts if you aren't sure which model suits your vision. Dixon Irish flute duet with cittern (large mandolin cousin) Modern high-quality Irish keyless piccolo Trumpet In my poring over old engravings and photographs, I was struck by how many showed sailors playing various trumpet-type instruments in the late 1800s, which kind of makes sense given the cultural crossover with military Naval traditions, and the volume of a trumpet which helps cut through wind and noise for signaling or dance music. I’m sure there are a zillion good write-ups on buying a basic trumpet (from $100-300), so I’ll leave you go google those or visit Trumpet. But personally reading up for this article got even me thinking about trying my hand at a little brass. I'm honestly torn between getting one of the novel plastic "brass" instruments made for learners like pTrumpet or jHorn (around $100) because I like innovative design, or carefully buying an okay-quality used brass instrument (after consulting experts) for similar price. But I bet a whaler would've loved a plastic one if they'd been available in 1863. "Wellerman" on trumpet STRINGS Guitar In my survey of period imagery, I did indeed find some images of men at sea playing guitar, but do bear in mind that guitar in the 1800s and early 1900s was nowhere near as omnipresent as it is today, and in different forms. Plenty of other instruments were far more popular, up until the mid-1900s where guitar really became a go-to choice in the West. Note too that steel strings on guitars, as well as larger body sizes, didn’t show up much until the early 1900s, so for much of this period those who played guitar played smaller body instruments, with gut strings (nowadays nylon strings sound almost like gut but are massively more durable and affordable). That said, tons of musicians in the Folk Revivals of the 1900s played a modern large guitar with steel strings and sounded great, so it really depends what tradition and sound you want to imitate. Again there are thousands of write-ups on taking up guitar, and plethora of new and used models, steel strings or nylon, all sizes, so I’ll leave that to you to Google or hit up LearnGuitar. But I would encourage you to keep an open mind to guitar types to get a little more unusual flair in your musical stylings, break away from the crowd a bit. If you’re an experienced strings player, if you want to get that droning and modal sound you hear in shanties, try tuning your current guitar to the Drop D or DADGAD tunings (see DADGAD), also popular in Irish music, and I think you’ll like your results. And if you’re a novice considering starting on guitar, I’m one of those people who believes that 2 months on a $50 ukulele and then four months on a guitar gets you further ahead than 6 months on a guitar alone, because uke is just so much more accessible for the total beginner. (Plus you’ll end up having a spare uke to carry where your guitar is inconvenient and left at home.) So if you’re considering guitar, check ukulele and ponder whether a uke of some sort could be an affordable and easy initial stage to launch your studies. Irish jig on guitar in DADGAD tuning "Drunken Sailor" on nylon-strung guitar Banjo The banjo is an instrument developed by American enslaved people, inspired by related instruments they’d known in Africa. By the mid 1800s, the banjo had crossed demographic lines and become hugely popular with European-Americans and spread to other countries, far more popular than the guitar was at the time. It was the go-to plucked string instrument for much of the 1800s. If you’re looking to take up banjo, know that the banjos of this period had a different sound and playing style than the modern bluegrass instrument, so set aside your stereotypes and listen to some recordings of “Old Time” banjo rather than the bluegrass and country licks you’re used to hearing in soundtracks. These banjos were less piercing, mellower, and a more languid style. And much like on guitars, steel strings were less common, gut being typical and having a much softer sound (today we have nylon options). So when you go reading up “how to choose a banjo” articles or visiting Banjo (or BanjoHangout.com), look for an “open back” banjo rather than one with the heavy metal ring around the head (“resonator”) which makes it louder and sharper for bluegrass. If you want to get really traditional, and sound softer and be easier on your fingers, spend $9 to get nylon (imitating gut) strings for a much less cliché and smoother sound. (Just note nylon strings stretch like crazy for a few days until they break in and stabilize, be patient.) Speaking of sound, absolutely don’t fall into trying to learn the modern “three-finger” or “Scruggs” style of play, which is a post-WWII styling, but read up on the old “clawhammer” or “frailing” style of play, which sounds entirely different and may pleasantly surprise you if you thought you don’t like banjo. "Wellerman" on 5-string banjo, played clawhammer style Nylon strings on a fretless banjo, just to show a very different sound I will briefly mention some banjo variants other than the 5-string type we’re mostly familiar with. There is also the “tenor banjo” which has four strings, lacking that shortened fifth string off to the side on the currently popular banjos. A tenor banjo is tuned differently: depending on what strings you’re using (and you can swap the strings out for about $10) it’s tuned either like a violin/mandolin, or like a guitaukulele, so those skills cross over well, and is slightly shorter than the common 5-string. Three Irish reels on a tenor banjo And if you want a banjo that to one degree isn’t as historically associated with sailors, but to the other is actually surprisingly similar to the smaller and mellower banjos of the early 1800s, there’s the “banjo ukulele” hybrid which is quite affordable and easy to learn. Frankly, if this is your first instrument and you want banjo, I’d get a banjo ukulele first rather than a 5-string, because they’re just so affordable (decent ones start around $100 new) and handy and easy to learn, and very mellow, not like the cliché sound you’d expect. And though they lack the fifth string, in the last decade or so a ton of YouTube uke experts have been developing the “clawhammer ukulele” style of play. It works impressively well on ukulele or banjo ukulele (which are played the exact same way, same online tutorials apply, they just have a different body and thus sound). "Leave Her Johnny, Leave Her" on banjo ukulele, clawhammer style Fiddle The “fiddle” is physically basically the same as a violin, just played in a folk rather than classical style. There are probably millions of violins bouncing around the world, including plenty of used deals, but you really want to read up on how to find a good deal on a new or used one, because violins are a little finicky. I would also say that unless you’re extremely motivated or getting a Zoom teacher, I wouldn’t advise fiddle as your very first instrument. Because they lack frets and learning to use a bow is its own distinct skill, they have a bit of a steep initial learning curve. So you maybe want to learn a little ukulele or mandolin (which has the same fingering as fiddle) before jumping in. But that said, if you just love fiddle and are ambitious, or already have a little strings background, by all means dive on in. Learn it in standard tuning, but once you get the basics down, try "open tunings" for shanties and the like. Hit up Fiddle for advice. The fiddle was a hugely popular instrument from the 1700s up to the mid-1900s before falling off sharply heading into the rock ‘n’ roll era. With fiddle you can cover a huge variety of historical musical traditions. "Blow Boys Blow" on fiddle, while singing (something you don’t see classical violinists do) Mandolin This originally Italian instrument took on a wider popularity in the Western world around the late 1800s and early 1900s, again being more popular than guitar in many areas during that period. A mandolin has the chording ability of the guitar but the melodic dexterity of a fiddle, is nice and compact especially compared to a large modern guitar, and can be bought in a passable starter model as low as ~$99. Though if you can stretch to a budget of more like $300, you’ll really appreciate the improvement. Plenty of used ones floating around, though buy those from a musician or reputable dealer, not from randos on eBay with something they pulled out of a closet from ages ago. Mandolins are under very high tension, and older ones that are low quality or mistreated can be warped or cracked in ways a novice can’t easily notice, but that make them unsuitable to be played. Don't jump on the first "bargain" you see, mando is common enough that you'll see bargains every other day, don't get impulsive, get advice from mandolin players online. I will note that although mandolin had a narrower time and place of popularity than banjo or especially fiddle, it closely resembles even earlier instruments like the “English guitar”, “cittern” and “Portuguese guitar” that were more widespread, so can serve as a partial stand-in for a number of centuries and locales. Plenty of good information at mandolin awaits you if you want to take up mando. Beginner mandolins are pretty affordable, and it's not too hard to learn, but it will take time for your hands to adjust and toughen up your finger pads. If you want to try mandolin tuning on an even more affordable instrument and with less string tension, you can get a basic starter ukulele and get Aquila's "Fifths" strings for ukulele (make sure to get the size that corresponds to the size of your uke) for $5-10 and string it in GDAE or CGDA, and then the fingerings would cross directly over to mandolin or mandola. "Salt Water Shanty" tune on the mandolin An example of the related "Portuguese guitar", shared between England and Portugal by the sea trade, played on the docks of Lisbon for "fado" music "Bach 1st Cello Suite" on a ukulele re-strung to CGDA Ukulele The ukulele is based on traditional Portuguese small guitar-like instruments, and was introduced to the Hawaiian Islands in 1879 when the SS Ravenscrag brought over Portuguese immigrants in 1879. The instrument caught the imaginations of the local Hawaiians, and some Portuguse woodworkers who'd just arrived capitalized on that trend and began producing a local version. So certainly sailors coming and going from Hawaiian ports had a chance to become familiar with the instrument. The ukulele is one of the easiest string instruments to play, and the skills cross directly over to guitar and other instruments. If you're new to strings I would highly suggest getting a $50-99 ukulele first to get used to strings, and then decide your best move. As noted above, a uke can be an excellent stand-in for guitar, banjo, or mandolin (especially if restrung in fifths). "Wellerman" on a regular $40 ukulele, conventional strumming and sounding awesome "5 Sea Shanties on Ukulele", a really great and crystal-clear tutorial for noobs by Destiny Guerra Ukulele has a shanty contest recently, might want to check out the submissions by other Redditors of shanties on ukulele FREE REEDS The name “free reeds” might sound confusing, but it basically just means things like the accordion and harmonica (which despite looking so different, are close cousins). On common reed instruments like saxophone or oboe, the air tube has one reed (a flexible tongue that produces a note as it vibrates when air flows over it) that makes the core pitch, and by opening holes to change the functional length of the tube you change the note. In contrast, with free reeds, you have an array of individual reeds that always make the same note, and you choose which note(s) to play by directing air over them with a button (accordion) or by moving it against your mouth (harmonica) Harmonica I think most folks are familiar with the basic concept of a harmonica, so I’ll just note there are a harmonicas at every price range, all kinds of keys (and ones in minor scales and such), and a lot of harmonica players own a whole stack of them to have a variety. While there are playable ones for like $10, aim for about $25-35 or more for your first one, if able, rather than going totally cheap, just so you aren’t held back as you’re trying to learn. There are a ton of free harmonica tutorials online, and books you can buy, and harmonica to advise, so you can’t go too wrong. The modern harmonica was invented in the 1800s (based in concept on centuries-old instruments of Southeast Asia encountered by travelers). Hohner started mass-producing barge-fulls of them in Germany shortly after the American Civil War, and exporting them to the US. While maybe we don’t think of harmonicas as a sailor thing, they were an omnipresent affordable and pocket-sized instruments, surely familiar to sailors of the period. "Drunken Sailor" on a less-common minor-key harmonica "Wellerman" tutorial on standard harmonica Concertina The association between sailors and concertina is so strong as to be almost cliché, due in large part to Hollywood portrayal, like sea shanty concertinist Alf Edwards cameoing in 1965’s “Moby Dick". The concertina is basically like a small hexagonal accordion, but a simpler and less raucous sound due to (usually) only one reed per note, and every button is an individual note rather than some buttons being chords. Concertina is pretty intuitive to play, and there are some good free tutorials online. For a novice interested in sea shanties you probably want the “Anglo” style (different notes on push and pull, like a harmonica or melodeon). Commonly people buy the 30-button Anglo, because most concertina buyers play Irish music and you want 30 for that. But for shanties and other simple folk, you can do well with a 20-button (which can also play most Irish), which tend to be a little cheaper. I would really give a pass to the $150-200 China-made ones on Amazon and eBay, and go for at least $299 or so for a new 20b or used 30b. (Or hit up Cnet's sales subforum to ask if anyone has a bargain 20b for a noob). While Anglo is hands-down the traditional choice of sailors, in the Folk Revivals, for whatever reason (lots of them cheap in pawnshops?) a lot of folk musicians took up the English-system concertina. The English externally looks similar but has the same note on push and pull of the bellows, so totally different playing style. Some of the most famous shanty players of the 1960s-1970s (like the fantastic Alf Edwards mentioned above) played English, which in the actual sailing days was the instrument of the wealthy, not laborers. But y’all are in luck, because I’m a mod at Concertina and have written a pretty comprehensive Concertina FAQ and Buying Guide for novices, the sub itself can help advise with any questions, and for serious experts or to shop an active buy/sell forum for bargains, visit Concertina.net Forums. Note for both concertina and melodeon (button accordion), “Appcordions” produces free or cheap apps for your phone or tablet which emulate concertina (Anglo, English, or Duet fingering systems) or button accordion. The apps take a little getting used to, but are fun to try out the concept before committing. Read the instructions or watch a tutorial for each to understand how to emulate bellows direction changes on an app, and they're better on tablet than phone, but passable on phone. Modern shanty "Grogg Mayles" played on Anglo concertina (note the constant back-forth to change notes) A. L. Lloyd singing “Off to Sea Once More” backed up by Alf Edwards on English concertina (Lloyd is my favorite shantyman of all time, and Edwards so gorgeous on English that I forgive him the heresy of passing up Anglo) Melodeon (Button Accordion) When modern people think “accordion” they tend to think the huge ones with a piano keyboard, such as played by Weird Al. But for much of the 1800s and early 1900s, the dominant accordion was the “melodeon” (Americans tend to call them a “button accordion”) which is generally smaller, and has one, two, or three rows of buttons instead of a piano keyboard. Like the Anglo concertina or the harmonica, a given melodeon button produces a different note when you change air direction, which means that notes that make a chord line up together, making it very intuitive to play. There are hordes of melodeons on the used market, but ones hauled out of a closet after 40 years of no play can need hundreds of dollars of refurbishment by a skilled technician. So again don’t go buying from randos on eBay, but buy from an actual player, or reputable dealer (many of whom buy the tore-up rando ones cheap on eBay, fix them up and flip them at reasonable prices). Figuring out the good deals can be daunting to a novice, so I went to Melodeon.net and got a detailed discussion going resulting in somewhat of a novice buyer’s guide for sea shanties that you might find easier to digest. With some hunting around the various reputable dealers, and Melodeon.net’s sales section, you can find a decent melodeon as low as $250-350 (easier still in the UK or EU where melodeon is more common). Also check out the small sub Melodeon (we may add a sticky or wicki to link dealers of affordable refurbished button accordions). Fortunately shanty players are less picky about specific keys and models, so can get some good deals on less-fashionable variants other musicians are slow to buy. High Barbary on 2.5-row melodeon, voice and fiddle "Bully in the Alley" tutorial on 2-row D/G melodeon Addendum: “Toy” Accordions (Melodeons) I will address one kind of intriguing and highly affordable option for learning the basics on melodeon. There’s a little 7-button job called a “toy accordion” made in China (the button kind, not piano kind), sold on all the major online retailers. It isn’t so much really a "toy" as it is a small functional instrument but of kinda middling materials and iffy quality control, but it is a genuine musical instrument. Funnily enough, a small and shoddy mass-produced melodeon was exactly what laborers and sailors of the mid to late 1800s played, churned out of factories in Germany at prices so low they were practically disposable. Ironically the “toy” is arguably the historically authentic option, in spirit. I don’t want to sound like I’m shilling for Amazon, I don’t even have affiliate links to them on my YouTube channel (maybe someday), but I’m telling you now that Amazon or equivalent is a good place to get a toy accordion. That way you can buy a model and from a seller with the best reviews, and (this is vital) one with “free returns”. The QC on these is iffy, so if you get a lemon it’s great to be able to put it right back in the box, click “return” on the app, and it gets picked up off your porch or you drop it off at a local business that processes Amazon returns. And if you like you can even just re-order it with your refund until they get it right. These “toys” run about $20-40 (I just bought an EastaMugig, and it seems pretty decent and ready to tweak), so just pick one with good reviews, ensure it has free returns, and give it a whirl. Or if you really want to cut to the chase, there are accordion “fettlers” (repairers) who will just gut a toy for you and put quality reeds in it. Currently Smythe’s Accordions is the main shop I know of doing this in the US, and will put in quality reeds in the key of your choice, into a Russian toy accordion (better quality), if you want to spend $200. Now, if you get one into your paws that plays okay and you want to keep it, I suggest immediately opening it up and making some minor tweaks. This is one of those things all the melodeon folks casually mention and afaik nobody has bothered to make a proper tutorial on (I hope to shortly for my YouTube channel), but you can make these substantially better with very little skill. Basically put, you got seven buttons, with two notes per button, and two reeds per note to give it a tremolo/echo effect. The issue is those doubled reeds use up a lot of air, and your bellows are small, and one reed will always be more in-tune than the other. So you get some really basic tools and masking tape, pour a beer or soda, carefully open it (they’re pretty sturdy if you get a good one) and identify the two reeds for each note, lay down masking tape along one to silence it. While you’re in there, if you can identify any reeds that aren’t sounding properly, they’re probably clogged with dust, and you can google up how to carefully slide something thin like a dollar bill under the tongue to knock the dust loose and allow it to sound. Tape off one of each pair, assemble it and try it, and if a given note (now one reed per note) sounds off, make a note of which, disassemble and switch the tape from the other reed and see if the other one sounds better. It’ll take some futzing, but no major skill and no permanent changes (do it carefully so you can still return it if it just won’t shape up). If you get it right, now it’ll be using half as much air so way easier to play, and if you like there are many other little tweaks to adjust button play, fix bellows leaks, and all that, all pretty low-skill. But fundamentally for $20-40 you can have a kinda shoddy yet effective little melodeon, much like the sailors of old, on which you can accompany sea songs. Drunken Sailor on a decent yet stock toy accordion Irish polkas on a toy accordion that’s been fitted with quality reeds PERCUSSION Looking at old sailor imagery, you generally see small snare drums and bass drums, and there seems to be a large crossover between those on civilian ships and similar ones played in the British and American navies of the era. If you’re a real stickler you can get “rope-tuned” old-school wooden snare and small bass drums (sold for fife and drum reenactors), or make do with modern used marching-band instruments. I do want to note there is one kind of drum that’s relatively recent in tradition and wouldn’t really have been played by shanty-era sailors, but sounds absolutely amazing with shanties if you aren’t a stickler: the Irish bodhrán. It’s a relatively shallow circular shell with one drum head, held in one hand and the other hands holds a double-headed stick (like a little kayak paddle) and virtuosically skips it off the drum head in rhythmic patterns. It's pretty cool, but if you get one, learn it proper because eager noobs not bothering to learn skill and just whacking on it are a cliche in the Irish trad scene. Bodhran is tiny but has some good links, and you can always ask and see who answers. Daniel Payne of Newfoundland sings “Wind Through the Window” while backing himself on bodhrán NOT TRADITIONAL SAILOR INSTRUMENTS, BUT WOULD SOUND AWESOME WITH SHANTIES I want to briefly discuss one instrument from each category that aren’t strictly historical to seafarers, but really fit in with the spirit of shanties. These would be great retcons, and one very modern wildcard at the end. Appalachian/Mountain dulcimer The dulcimer was likely a French or German instrument acquired by the rural folks in the Appalachian mountains of the US, and worked into the local tradition due to its simplicity. It’s a long wooden box played in the lap, tuned to open tunings, with only partial fretting, which makes it ridiculously easy to learn and accompany yourself on. I like to joke that it's the "Celtic sitar." I taught quite a few workshops on the dulcimer for groups, and it’s about one of the easiest fretted string instruments to learn. They’re pretty affordable (you can get cardboard-bodied [seriously, they work] ones around $50, basic wooden ones around $100, ask around at dulcimer) and they have that droning and dark sound that would go great with shanties. "Skye Boat Song" on dulcimer Udu or Ibo drum This percussion instrument, originating in West Africa, is a clay pot (some modern makers use synthetics) that is drummed upon, and capable of some really cool percussive sounds. Can produce a surprising number of tonal effects, I think of it as the "African tabla." Runs about $100+ for the basic synthetic models by Meinl, which are lighter and more durable than ceramic. LP makes durable ceramic ones from about $75. See the very tiny sub Udu for more info, or ask the larger community at drums. Udu/Ibo drum solo Bagpipe Check your stereotypes, the Great Highland bagpipe associated with marching around in kilts (which is awesome in its own way) is only one of about 100 kinds of bagpipes, from Ireland to India and Sweden down to Libya. The Highland Pipe is loud and piercing, so not really great vocal accompaniment, but among the many other pipes are several which play at an indoor volume and lower pitch. Among the ones I’d most recommend to someone starting pipes, in terms of affordability (roughly around $400-$500 for basic ones of these three, some bargains come in lower), availability, volume, compactness, versatility, etc. would be the Scottish Smallpipes (quieter and a full octave deeper in pitch than Highland), the Swedish bagpipes, and the German hümmelchen. More than any other instrument on this list, for bagpipes I urge you to beware "too good to be true" deals. The reason is there is one specific outfit in Pakistan that has been turning out virtually unplayable bagpipes for export for decades, and they're all over Amazon and eBay for $100-200. They are not "well, I'll try a cheapie first and see if I want to get a nice one", they are total garbage, and the company is run by jerks because they could make a serviceable pipe in Pakistan by paying their workers 10% more and instead opt to turn hopeful noobies off piping forever with a "maybe it's a good starter" that's just trash. There are definitely good deals in piping (mainly some innovators working in synthetics, and some craftsmen in Eastern Europe with low costs of living), but the specific Pakistan pipes exported by a certain cynical company are omnipresent and a total waste. But the good news is with the slightest research you can avoid them and get some good starter pipes at reasonable price. Give those three types of bagpipes (or others too) a listen, see what jumps out at you, drop by Bagpipes to discuss. "Mingulay Boat Song" on Scottish smallpipes (bellows blown so the piper has breath to sing) "Polska efter Nedergårds Lars" on Swedish bagpipes "A Cascarexa" (Galician waltz) on hümmelchen Electronic Instruments (maybe on your tablet or even phone to be cheap) I’m sure many of you have seen techno remixes of "Wellerman" and whatnot, so though clearly in history those far post-date the shanty era, they do sound awfully cool (in some cases). So don’t be too shy to lay down some drum and bass lines and sing over them. There are various electronic boxes and knobs you can buy to do so, but these days a lot of what used to be $500 of fancy electronics are now emulated on your phone or tablet. Go mess with the free music apps, or read reviews and pay $10 for a good one, and get some beats going. If you want to try out a free iOS app that's pretty intuitive for making beats, as a total novice in electronic music I've enjoyed the free phone app Figure. Korg iKaossilator laying down drum and bass lines
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